


The Queen and the Sith

by obidalanetwork_archivist



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Complete, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-11
Updated: 2008-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist
Summary: In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.
Collections: Obidala Network





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Obidala Network](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Obidala Network’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile).

Prologue

The new day had almost begun. Dawn had arrived and a pale, yellow-rosy light was creeping inside the bedroom, caressing her husband’s fair skin and making the red in his hair shine like polished copper.

He was still asleep, and Padmé tried not to move least she woke him. The last months had been very hard for him, and the previous night had been quite energy-consuming.

Her lips bent in a wicked smile as she thought of how beautiful their belated wedding night had been. It had been perfect, even better than what she had envisioned in her dreams, during the years they had been apart.

Thirteen, almost fourteen long years during which she had thought they would never been together. Years of longing and bitterness, of dashed hopes and bad mistakes.

They were now in the past, but it looked like Padmé could not stop thinking of them. Her mind wished to return to the past, to when she had seen her husband for the first time.

Basking in the warmth of her new found happiness, Padmé closed her eyes and let her thoughts return to the day everything had begun…

I

Padmé was being marched along with her entourage towards one of the detention camps the invading Trade Federation’s army had already created in Theed. She had refused to sign the treaty Viceroy Gunray wanted her to, and the Nemodian had decided that making her witness to her people’s suffering would be a good way to change her mind.

The young queen’s steps were heavy as she walked along the streets of the capital city of Naboo. Everywhere, she could see squads of battle droids pursuing scared citizens, who tried in vain to escape or hide.

Unable to witness what was being done to her people, Padmé lowered her eyes, and instinctively moved closer to her handmaidens. They were all dressed in the same orange clothes she wore, with the exception of Sabe, who was currently posing as Queen Amidala.

Then, suddenly, as the group was crossing a square and passing under a walkway, two men and a Gungan jumped down from a balcony, blocking their path.

One of the men was very tall, with leonine features, long salt and pepper hair, and a well trimmed beard, dressed with a brown robe and trousers and a beige tunic. His companion was much younger, clean shaved, with short cropped, spiky hair and his clothes, while similar to the other man’s, were in different shades of grey.

Both men were brandishing lightsabres, green for the older one, yellow for his comrade, and they made a quick work in despatching the droids escorting the prisoners.

Once the group was freed, the tallest man approached Queen Amidala and said, “Your Highness, I am Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and this is Sith Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. We are the ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor.”

“Your negotiations seem to have failed, Ambassador,” commented Governor Sio Bibble, his tone veiled with bitter irony.

“The negotiations never took place. Your Highness, we must make contact with the Republic.”

Captain Panaka, the chief of the Queen’s security forces stepped forward, “They've knocked out all our communications.”

“Do you have transports?” asked Qui-Gon.

“In the main hangar. This way.”

Padmé listened to the conversation, of course, but even in that delicate moment she could not help but throw a look to Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was standing by Qui-Gon’s shoulder, scanning the area around them.

Padmé had never seen a Sith before, not even on the holonet. She knew they were said to be the best warriors in the galaxy, and this one looked fierce and dangerous—but also concerned and gentle.

It was something in his eyes, Padmé thought, as she looked at him. They were blue-grey, showing the inner depth of the man, and the young woman briefly mused she would like to know him better once the crisis was over.

Then, all levity forgotten, she returned to concentrate on the tricky situation they were in and to the important decisions she would soon have to make.

§

During the next few days, there was little time for Padme to think of Obi-Wan Kenobi or pursue her interest in him and the Sith Order.

Their ship had been damaged when they had forced the blockade around Naboo, which obliged them to stop on Tatooine to find the spare parts needed to repair it.

That sandy, rocky, barren planet, so different from Naboo, fascinated Padmé. Thus, once again leaving Sabe to cover her, she left the ship and went in town along with Qui-Gon and Jar Jar, while Obi-Wan stood behind, guarding the “queen”.

While in the settlement, Padmé established the beginning of a friendship with a local child, a boy named Anakin Skywalker, whose help was essential in securing the spare parts they needed to repair their ship.

Padmé was moved by the generosity and kind heart of that slave boy, and by his willingness to help them, a group of strangers, without seeking something for himself. Thus she was delighted to discover that Qui-Gon had somehow been able to obtain Anakin’s freedom and that the boy would travel with them to Coruscant, where he would be trained as a Jedi.

Back in space, Padmé kept on posing as a handmaiden, spending time with Anakin as she watched Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan discuss animatedly about the dark-clad creature that had attacked their party as they were returning to the ship.

The words “Dark Lords” left the men’s lips more than once, but they had no meaning for the young woman. Her attention was divided between making Anakin comfortable and warm and worrying for Naboo, as she pondered the best line of action to present their case in front of the Senate.

\-----

Once in Coruscant, things moved quickly, much to Padmé’s relief.

Senator Palpatine suggested to her to move for a “vote of no confidence” in Chancellor Valorum’s leadership, because a stronger leader was needed for the Republic, and the young woman did so, in the hope that the new chancellor would not be as controlled by the bureaucrats as the current one was.

After addressing the Senate, Padmè decided to return to Naboo. She could not bear to stay away from her home world a moment more, and she thought it was her duty to stay near her people as they suffered the occupation. And also, the continued chattering of Jar-Jar about the Gungans and their “mucho big” army had given her an idea-- a plan for freeing her planet without needing to wait for the Senate’s deliberation.

Padmé had Sabe inform Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan of her plan as soon as their ship left Coruscant for Naboo.

The Jedi master did not like it at all, claiming that sending the Gungans army against the droids would only cause a useless slaughter. The Sith knight instead approved it, and that caused some tension between the two men.

Qui-Gon accused the Sith of being insensitive to the Gungans’ fate, while Obi-Wan reminded him there was no way they could sneak inside the Royal Palace and capture the Viceroy Gunray without some kind of diversion to keep the droid army busy and away from Theed.

In the end, Master Jinn agreed with the plan and thus there was a collective sigh of relief when Boss Nass, the Gungans’ chief, accepted the request of help that Sabe, still posing as the queen, made.

Padmé had thought about revealing her real identity in that occasion, to show how honest and heartfelt her request was, but captain Panaka had advised her against doing it. He thought it was more prudent she carried on with the charade a little longer, for the stakes were too high.

\-----

With the Gungans troops drawing the majority of the droid army away from Theed, it was easy enough for Padmé and her group to reach the Royal Palace. However, once inside the main hangar, they found their path blocked by the dark-clad, red-black tattooed creature they had first seen on Tatooine.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon calmly told her they would take care of him, and thus the group split, in search of another way to enter the inner area of the Palace.

In the years that would follow, Padmé could never say how much time the battle in the long corridors and high-ceiled rooms of the Palace took, but shortly after it ended, with Nute Gunray taken in custody, her first thoughts were for her Jedi and Sith protectors.

Where were they? Were they all right? Why had not they joined them?

Unable to shake off the worry that had suddenly assaulted her, Padmé took four guards with her and went in search of the two men.

She found them in the Palace melting pit, and her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw Obi-Wan lying on the ground while Qui-Gon knelt by his side.

Padmé ran across the large room, her heart beating wildly. Was Obi-Wan all right? Was he wounded? Was he…dead?

She skidded to a halt near Qui-Gon, and knelt, her worried eyes taking in how pale the Sith’s skin was.

“What happened?” she asked, as behind her one of the guards rushed to search for medical help.

“He has been wounded in the back while saving my life,” Qui-Gon murmured, raising his solemn eyes to meet hers. “I called him insensitive and selfish and instead he was willing to sacrifice himself for me.”

Padmé nodded, remembering their hot discussion about the rightness or wrongness of involving the Gungans in their plans, and then looked down at Obi-Wan’s still form. Her hand reached out to caress his cheek and she was taken aback by how cold and clammy it was. She mentally willed the medical rescue to be fast, then asked, “What happened to that creature?”

“Obi-Wan killed it before collapsing. His remains have fallen inside the melting pit.”

“Who was he?”

“I believe he was a Dark Lord…a dark force user,” Qui-Gon’s voice was pensive.

“I see,” she answered, although she did not really. The Force was a mystery to Padmé, for she preferred to concentrate on more concrete things.

She stared down at the pale face of Obi-Wan. He looked so vulnerable and young. She felt a pang in her heart as she thought he might die there, in that melting pit, without knowing how grateful Padmé was for everything he had done for her people.

‘Hold on Obi-Wan,’ she thought as she took one of his hands in her own. ‘We have exchanged only a few words, but I know you are very important to me and I wish to come to know you better. You have helped save my planet, and Naboo will always consider you one of its sons. You will always have a home here, but I don’t want you to die here. Please hold on, hold on.’

Blessedly, the medical rescue arrived in that moment and as soon as Obi-Wan’s condition was stabilized, he was taken to the nearby hospital. Padmé went with them, as Qui-Gon went in search of Anakin.

The young queen was aware she had a duty to absolve, and she did not intend to be negligent with her obligations, but she was resolute to first know how Obi-Wan was.

She owed it to him as a queen, but also wanted to do it as a young woman who was more than a little taken by the handsome, grey robed warrior that had protected and helped her in freeing her people.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 2

Obi-Wan spent the next four days in the bacta tank in order to heal the hideous wound the Dark Lord had inflicted upon him.

He missed the celebration held to honour the “Heroes of Naboo”, but given the tight schedule of newly-elected Chancellor Palpatine and the members of the Jedi and Sith orders, who had come on planet to examine the remains of the Dark Lord, it had been impossible to postpone it.

Padmé spent many hours in the hospital while Obi-Wan was there, and she was sitting by his bedside when, five days after she had first seen him lying pale and cold in the melting pit, he finally regained consciousness.

She watched almost fascinated as he blinked and tried to focus his sight. The he turned his head to her and smiled. A small, lopsided smile that caused butterflies in her belly.

“Handmaiden Padmè,” he murmured, his voice low and hoarse. “You are a vision.”

The young woman blushed at his open compliment, and wondered if he was still dazzled by spending so much time in the bacta.

“And you are even more beautiful when you blush…” Obi-Wan continued, showing he was everything but confused.

There was something playful in his tone, something Padmé would have never expected in a man who had been unconscious for so long and that made her smile.

“I think you are still suffering the after effects of four days spent in a bacta tank, Knight Kenobi.”

“Four days? I have never been soaked for so long. That Dark Lord must have really done a good job. And it’s Obi-Wan, Padmé. I am not on duty now,” he gestured to the bed and winked at her.

Padmé grinned at him. She had never expected him to be so easy going and flirtatious. He had looked so serious and sombre during the crisis, but perhaps he was only so while on duty.

“You certainly are not, nor will you be for a while. The Sith Council has granted you a sick leave and the Queen would be very happy if you choose to spend it here, as her guest.”

Padmé did not know why she did not use that moment to tell Obi-Wan the truth, that she was Queen Amidala. Probably it was because she was enjoying the way he was behaving with her.

He was open, teasing, charming, completely different from the courteous but ultimately distant man he had been while dealing with Sabe. She did not want him to treat her like a queen; she wanted him to treat her like a woman, nothing more, nothing less.

Thus she said nothing when Obi-Wan asked her to thank the queen in his behalf and to tell her that, yes, he would accept her gracious offer and spend his leave on Naboo.

Then Obi-Wan took her hand in his warm, larger one, and looked up at Padmé, his eyes now serious and intent.

“I hope to see you again, Padmé. I would love to spend some more time in your company.”

His gaze held her captive and she nodded, before bending her head to kiss his stubble-covered cheek. Obi-Wan’s other arm raised, perhaps to pull her closer, perhaps to caress her face, but whatever gesture he had planned to do was interrupted when the door slid open and the doctor in charge entered the room, wanting to check the patient.

center b § /b /center

i Obi-Wan watched Padmé go and then concentrated on the doctor and the questions he was being asked. Was he in pain? Dizzy? Confused?

Obi-Wan could honestly respond “no” to all of them, especially to the last one. In fact, he had never felt more certain of something in his whole life.

Padmé, that beautiful brown-haired and brown-eyed young woman was the one. The Force had indicated her to him from the first moment he had met her, but only now did he understand what it meant.

He had found the woman he was destined to spend his life with, and he could barely contain his excitement.

Obi-Wan had always known that somewhere there was a woman waiting for him. He had known it since he was barely a child, and he held on to his conviction even when the years passed and he remained the only unmarried Sith knight in his age group.

He had held on to his conviction even when his former master had bluntly told him sometimes the Force needed a push to set the events in motion, and that he had to be more assertive around the ladies if he wanted to conquer one. Obi-Wan had nodded, thanked his master for his advice and went on his way, so sure he had been he was right.

Now, finally, he had found her and her mere presence had made him behave in a way he had seldom, if ever, done. He had been charming, bold, flirtatious and managed to do it without feeling like an idiot as had happened in the past.

Padmé was really the one, although she was not exactly the woman he had pictured in his dreams.

She was so young! So petite! Her liquid brown eyes so trusting and gentle they made him want to take her in his arms and shield her against all the bad things in the universe.

She was probably new to matters of the heart – not that he was an expert, far from it! – and he would have to be careful not to move too soon and scare her.

‘I can hardly go to Padmé and tell her the Force has indicated to me that we will be together for the rest of our lives! She would repute me mad.’ Obi-Wan thought, shaking his head. Then he smiled, as he remembered what she had said. He was on medical leave, and he was going to use it to come to know Padmé better, and tell her everything about himself. And then, when the time to return to Coruscant arrived, he would no longer be alone. /i

§

Obi-Wan recovered quickly and was soon discharged by the hospital, although he was instructed to take it easy for a few days.

Padmé was there when he was released and personally accompanied him to the room he had been assigned in the guest wing of the Palace.

She had made clear with her servants, aides and handmaidens that they should never call her ‘queen’ or ‘your highness’ when she was with the Sith, and that she wanted to stay alone in his company.

Captain Panaka, Governor Bibble and her handmaidens were not exactly happy with it, but Padmé held her ground. She was not forgetting her duty—far from it. She was working up to fourteen hours per day and no one could criticize her if she decided to spend her little free time near a charming, handsome young man.

Padmé was aware that her entourage was worried she might fall in love with Obi-Wan and were trying to avoid how she may suffer because of it, but, by the time they made their intention known, it was already too late.

She had already fallen in love, probably she had been from the moment Obi-Wan had opened his eyes at the hospital and looked at her.

Padmé was in love for the first time and she thought that, if she was considered adult and mature enough to rule a planet, then she was old and responsible enough to spend time alone with a man. A man that despite being bold and teasing and ready to laugh was also very honourable and proper.

They passed most of their time together walking in the Palace’s extensive gardens, talking about themselves and it was during one of this conversations that Padmé finally learned more about the Sith Order and Obi-Wan’s life as a trainee.

It was a warm afternoon and Padmé had managed to complete the day work before time. Thus she had hurried to change into her handmaiden clothes and had joined Obi-Wan near the river that ran across the gardens.

The doctors had advised him to swim in order to regain his stamina and Padmé knew he preferred to do it outdoors than in the indoor pool.

As she approached him, dressed only in her bath suit and a short creamy bathrobe, her heart fluttered at the surprised and appreciative way Obi-Wan gazed at her.

“The queen has given us a free afternoon,” she said as an explanation as she sat on the grass by his side.

Obi-Wan nodded and they shared a smile, then watched in silence for a while as a flock of Nubian seagulls landed on the water to hunt and rest, until she noticed how he was fingering his shoulder-long braid.

Padmé pointed at it and commented, “You never told me what it means.”

Obi-Wan turned to stare at her with a surprised look, as if he had realized only then he had been toying with his braid. “This?”

“Yes.”

“The plait is the symbol of my knighthood, and these,” he fingered the yellow tiny beads inserted in the hair, “represents the missions I have successfully accomplished since I obtained this rank, five years ago.”

Padmè stretched her neck to give a closer look at the braid. “There is quite a lot of them.”

“Yes,” he said, smiling proudly.

“I have seen Master Jinn gave Anakin a hair cut very similar to yours, braid included, before they left, but somehow I doubt it has the same meaning.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “You are right. The braid has the opposite meaning for the Jedi. For them it is the symbol of their apprenticeship, and they cut it away when they obtain their knighthood. It is one of the differences between the two orders.”

“Interesting. Can you tell me more? I confess that while I am a bit familiar with the Jedi, I had never seen a Sith before I met you.”

The young man let out a laugh, a low rumbling sound that made Padmé shiver. “I am not surprised, dear lady. We are much less numerous than the Jedi and since we often go on undercover missions, we try to keep our faces unknown.”

Padmé nodded, “This sounds very wise. I read somewhere the Sith and the Jedi were enemies long ago. Is that true?”

“Yes; but it is no longer so. Now we are allies and we often go on joint missions with the Jedi, as it happened with the crisis involving your planet. You see, the Sith Order was created about a thousand years ago, when a group of rebellious Jedi knights left the Temple in disagreement with the Council and the Code. They believed emotions to be important and refused to release them into the Force as the Jedi precepts dictated. A bloody war followed the rift, but it ended with no victors, too many deaths on both sides and a still-standing peace treaty. Since then the two orders have co-existed, first as rivals then as allies, because we both serve the Republic, albeit in different ways.”

“How so?” Padmé asked, her curiosity stirred.

“Where the Jedi are mostly diplomats and negotiators, the Sith operate in situations where the diplomacy has failed. The Jedi work to prevent and avoid wars; we Sith work to end wars. The Jedi negotiate the release of hostages; we Sith rescue the hostage when the deals fail. The Jedi are guardians of peace; we Sith are warriors, even if we don’t like war. The Jedi release their emotions into the Force; we Sith hold on them. We consider them important, but we never allow them to rule or control us.”

“So the Sith can love? I know the Jedi are forbidden to,” Padmé inquired, trying not to betray her personal interest in his answer.

“Yes, we can love, but the Code states our personal life will always come second to our duty to the Republic.”

“And what about marriage?” Padmé asked, holding her breath.

Obi-Wan gave her a sharp look before answering, “We can wed, but marriage is not a simple matter for us. Since divorce is not allowed, the pair must be absolutely certain of the step they are going to take. You see, we are led by the Force to the right mate for us, but we understand from the start that having found our other half doesn’t mean the other person will feel the same. That’s why we are taught to be very careful before committing our heart. A Sith loves for life and it is important his or her partner knows and reciprocate the feeling—something that sometimes is impossible. We are not common people, we are servants of the Force, and it is not easy for normal people to understand that.”

Obi-Wan kept his eyes fixed on Padmé during the entire speech, and she felt the need to lower her head when he finished, so overwhelmed she had been by the intensity of his gaze.

“I understand,” she murmured, as a voice inside her wondered. ‘Is he thinking of me as a potential wife?’ Her heart surged at the idea. What would it be like to be loved by a man like Obi-Wan? By that enchanting mix of youthful exuberance and older wisdom, of harshness and gentleness, of… her musings were interrupted when a rustle of fabric alerted her Obi-Wan was undressing, shedding his blue bathrobe to take a swim.

Padmé raised her head and looked at him, being careful not to stare at his lightly haired, muscular chest.

True, she had already seen him down to his shorts as he floated in the bacta tank, but it was a completely different thing to look at him now he was conscious, well, and no longer so pale.

Padmé licked her suddenly dry lips as Obi-Wan stood up and smiled down at her.

“Are you going to join me in the water or do you plan to be the lazy one and sunbathe like a lizard?”

“That wasn’t a very nice thing to say to a lady, Knight Kenobi,” she commented, softening her words with a smile. “I think I will take a swim, only not now. Go on, I will join you in a while.”

“All right.”

Padmè watched as Obi-Wan turned toward the water and a strangled gasp escaped her lips when she saw his back. He heard the noise and turned quickly around.

“Is there something wrong? Padmé, are you all right?”

“Your back,” she managed to say. “It is all…scarred…”

There was not just the angry red mark left by the recent lightsabre wound; his upper back and shoulders where marred by many, criss-crossing white scars.

Obi-Wan pursed his lips and nodded. “I know.”

Padmé rose to her feet and approached him, hovering with her hand over the skin of his back. The desire to touch him was so overwhelming her fingers twitched. “What happened to you?”

“I was whipped,” was the calm answer.

“You were tortured?” Padmé had the desire to caress him, and soothe away the memory of the pain he had felt when the wound that had caused the scars had been inflicted.

“No, I was not tortured. My master did it, to make sure I would never forget the lesson he taught me that day. He said that the pain would fix the teachings into my mind and that the scars would always be there as a reminder. He forbade the doctor from removing them.” Obi-Wan answered with a calm, matter of fact tone.

Padmé could not conceal her horror. “Your master whipped you? How old were you?” She asked in a whisper, dreading the answer.

“I was ten.”

“Ten! But this is criminal! That man should have been arrested!”

Obi-Wan stiffened, and his voice was clipped when he answered, “My master was a great man. He taught me well, and made me what I am today. He was harsh, yes, but fair and he did what he thought right for me. Please refrain from criticizing him in my presence.”

Speaking so, he turned on his heels and walked to the river, leaving Padmé behind, alone and confused.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 3

That was the only disagreement, if it could be called that, that the pair had during Obi-Wan’s sojourn on Naboo. For the rest of the time, they found themselves agreeing basically on everything, from their tastes in books to their vision of the Republic, from their love for nature to their disliking for flying.

Both of them were aware of their growing closeness and deep attraction, and Padné was certain that if Obi-Wan had not yet acted on his feelings, it was just because he was a gentleman. That pleased her, for it showed her how much he cared for her, but it also was a source of frustration.

Her handmaidens were making her life impossible. They were always pressing for details and covered her with questions she did not want to listen to.

“So, Your Highness, has he kissed you? Is he good?”

“Have you kissed him?”

“How are things going?”

“Did you tell him who you are?”

“You should act quickly, his leave will soon be up. Why don’t you try to seduce him?”

Padmé was all too aware Obi-Wan’s leave was expiring, and she wanted to make her move on him or at least try to coax him into telling her how he felt for her, so that she would be able to reply in kind. However, she felt painfully inexperienced and young and often plagued by self doubt.

What if she had mistaken everything? What if Obi-Wan felt only friendship in her regards?

She had thought she had seen him look at her in a way that was not exactly friendly a couple of times, but how could she be sure?

Padmé supposed it was the right ‘punishment’ for having fallen in love with a man eleven years her senior at an age, hers, when even a year could make a difference.

Whatever the case, she did not dare to voice her feelings and he kept silent too until the second last morning of his leave, when Padmé joined Obi-Wan in the gardens as he finished training with his yellow lightsabre.

He smiled at her as he towelled off his sweat, before reaching out with his hand and taking her own. It was then Padmé realized he looked tense and hesitant.

“Is something there wrong, Obi-Wan?” she asked.

“No…it’s just there is something I wish to tell you and I am not sure about how you will react.”

Padmé smiled, somehow relieved to discover she was not the only one feeling doubtful and insecure.

“There is only a way to know,” she said, even if she berated herself for telling him to do what she hadn’t been able to.

“Tell you, huh?”

“Yes.”

“You are right, Padmé, and really I am not behaving like a proper Sith, being so scared by your reaction, when I have been able to talk my way out of very dangerous or potentially explosive situations. But your answer is so important for me…” Obi-Wan stepped closer and took her other hand in his own. “Padmé, do you remember when I told you about the Sith and the marriage? How I told you about how careful we must be in choosing our mates?”

Padmé nodded, barely breathing, as she willed him to go on with her gaze.

“I have found my mate. I have found her on this beautiful planet…” Obi-Wan looked briefly away as he took a deep breath. “I am not good at this, and I apologize if I am not much of a romantic, but…I love you, Padmé. I love you and I would like to ask you to do me the honour of becoming my wife.”

Her mouth opened in surprise, for she had not expected him to talk about marriage so soon—even if she should not have been, given what he had said her about the Sith and love relationships.

Obi-Wan saw her expression and believing she was going to protest, he hasted to add, “Of course you don’t have to answer me now. I know it is very soon and that you are young, and that I should have prepared you better, but you can be sure I will leave you plenty of time should you say yes and-”

Padmé interrupted his stammering in the only way she could think of: she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him.

It was just a mere brushing of lips, but it left her shaking. She tried to step back, but Obi-Wan was quicker: he let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her against his chest.

“Tell me Padmé, tell me dear girl, tell me this is your way to say to me you feel the same…” he murmured into her hair, and she nodded against the fabric of his grey tunic as she breathed in his manly scent.

“Yes, Obi-Wan, I feel the same.” She pulled slightly back and cupped his cheeks, her head raised to be able to look him straight in the eyes. “I will be honoured to become your wife, when the time is right and my term as queen is over.”

Caught by her happiness Padmé didn’t realize the slip of her tongue until he tensed and his eyes went from light blue to steely grey.

“What did you say?” he asked in a low, dangerous voice as he stepped back from her.

Padmé realized immediately this was not going to go well, but there was no time to dwell on it. She had to tell him—now.

“I- I have not been completely honest with you, Obi-Wan. I am not a handmaiden of the queen; I am Queem Amidala. Sabe, the girl you have always met in my place, is my best friend and decoy.”

Obi-Wan’s hands rose to grip her upper arms. “Why…why did you lie to me?” he hissed, his eyes cold and angry.

“I didn’t plan it in the beginning, it was just my disguise during the crisis and a way to protect myself. Then…then I saw the way you behaved with the “queen”. You were cold, distant, very formal, completely different from the man you were with me. I didn’t want to lose your openness, your playfulness, your company and so I…”

“So you deceived me…the typical behaviour of a politician,” Obi-Wan snarled, making the last word sound like an insult as he let go of her and turned around, his fists clenched.

Padmé bit her lower lip to prevent it from trembling. Then she raised her hand and posed it on his back, trying to calm him.

“I am sorry I lied to you, Obi-Wan. I realize now how wrong I was. But I did it only to be able to come to know you better…to be close to you. You must believe me, the fact I am the queen doesn’t change anything. I am still Padmé. I love you and I want to become your wife and-”

Obi-Wan whirled around, his expression furious. “Changes nothing? It changes everything! The Sith Code forbids joining between members of the order and politicians or planetary rulers!”

“Why?” Padmé asked, feeling suddenly very cold.

“Because we must be absolutely impartial and free from any possible political tie.”

“I won’t always be a queen,” she whispered, trying to find a logical solution and unwilling to think such a thing could ruin her barely-tasted happiness.

Obi-Wan and let out a humourless laugh. “But you will always be a politician. Since I’ve arrived on Naboo I’ve heard people telling what a gifted, passionate, involved ruler Queen Amidala is. Everybody says you will become a senator, and there are some ready to bet one day you will be elected chancellor—and I believe them.”

Padmé nodded, not even trying to deny what she knew to be the truth. She had wanted to be a politician and to be able to make the Republic a better place where to life since she was still at school.

“Then…then we could…we could keep it a secret…”

She had not yet completed the line when she realized she had said a very wrong thing.

Obi-Wan tensed even more and his face, from furious that it had been, became totally unreadable—the face of a stranger.

“I don’t think there is anything more to say, Your Highness,” he remarked, his clipped voice formal and toneless.

“Don’t do this, Obi-Wan, we can find a solution…” Padmé begged, reaching out with her hand, but he side stepped, shunning contact.

“I don’t think so, Your Highness. You aren’t going to leave politics any more than I am going to leave the Sith Order. And now, if you forgive me…” Obi-Wan bowed to her, then turned around and walked away.

Padmé looked at his retreating back until he disappeared, the heel of her hand pressed against her mouth, as tears blurred her sight.

She understood too late what complete idiocy it had been to suggest Obi-Wan should go against the rules of his order. He, a man who had been raised by a master that used a whip to make sure his charge would never forget his lessons! How could she have been so naïve? So… childish?

A part of Padmé urged her to follow Obi-Wan and apologize; the other told her to stay where she was, to calm down and to think well of what she wanted before approaching him again.

If she wanted to convince him she loved him for real, she would have to first find the answers to some very important questions, the first of which was: would she be able to leave her political career to be just a wife and a mother? Would she be happy with such a choice?

The answer, when she found it, was as simple and hard as truth often is.

Padmé loved to be a politician. She loved the responsibilities and the desire to be a good ruler. She loved to be a queen and looked forward to the day she would become a senator and thus be part of a larger scheme.

She loved it—and was not able to renounce it, not even for Obi-Wan.

Padmé fell to the ground and cried, soaking the grass with her tears as inside her heart her dreams shattered.

§

Obi-Wan all but stormed into his room at the Palace. He went to his bed and collapsed to sit on the mattress, holding his head in his hands.

How could he have been so wrong? How could he have mistaken what the Force had indicated to him?

He had been so sure of Padmé, so sure she was the woman he was destined to spend his life with. How could he have not sensed that she had been lying to him all along? How could he have not perceived, when he was in the presence of the “queen” that it was all a ruse?

Obi-Wan laughed bitterly as he realized the reason behind his mistakes. What had his master always said? Live the moment, Obi-Wan, concentrate on the here and now.

He had not focused on the present when Padmé was concerned. Taken as he had been by the certainty of their future together, he had not given much attention to the present—and this was the result.

He had committed a mistake, the greatest one a Sith could ever make: he had not listened to the Force. He had to be grateful it had not happened during a mission and it had not cost him his life. Just his heart.

Oh yes, his heart.

Obi-Wan would pay for his mistake for the rest of his life, he knew it. He had put all of himself into this relationship and given Padmé his undying love even before he had offered it to her. The fact she had lied and wounded him so much did not change the truth.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Knight of the Republic, loved Padmé Naberrie Amidala—and so he would for the rest of his life.

Sighing deeply, Obi-Wan stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the gardens.

Padmé was still where he had left her, sitting on the grass, her arms hugging her bent knees.

He probed her gently with the Force and sensed she had come to a decision, one that pained her, but that she knew it was the only possible one.

Obi-Wan smiled bitterly and lowered his head, his stance echoing the desperation he felt for several minutes. Then he straightened and closed his eyes as his expression hardened.

He was a Sith. He would not let this crush him. He would use it to become stronger and as a reminder of a failure he would never allow to happen again.

Then he walked away from the window and started packing his stuff.

He was done with Naboo. The time for childish dreams had ended; it was the moment to return to Coruscant, to reality, to his life and his duty.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 4

The years that followed were long and lonely for Padmé, but also full of professional satisfaction.

She threw all of herself into her job as queen, working hard to improve the quality of life of all of Naboo’s citizens. She signed a good treaty with the Gungans and did everything in her power to make sure that what had happened to her planet with the Trade Federation would not befall other words.

Padmé’s dedication paid off. She was elected to serve a second term as queen, and when it was over, her successor, Queen Jamilla, chose her to represent Naboo in the Galactic Senate on Coruscant.

It was exactly the future people had envisioned for her when she was just a girl, but not everybody was happy when it became reality.

Padmé’s family, especially her mother, had hoped she would settle down after her second term as queen ended. While they had always supported her, they could not understand her fascination with politics and wished to see her married with kids like her sister Sola.

It was not to be. Several men approached Padmé along the years, with more or less honourable purposes, but none of them was able to break through the walls she had built around her heart.

Losing Obi-Wan had hurt her too much and she did not want to suffer again like that. Perhaps it was a cowardly behaviour, but it was how she felt.

In truth, Padmé had not completely abandoned the hope that one day she too would have a family of her own, but she no longer imagined a marriage based on overwhelming love and passion. She thought that maybe she would find a man, a much older one, solid, reliable, whom she would care for enough to have children with.

Padmé knew, of course, that those were not the thoughts usually running in the mind of a woman barely twenty, but it was what she believed back then, when she used to feel much older than her age.

And so no one was more surprised then she when Anakin Skywalker entered her life again and took it over like a storm.

§

The raise of the Confederacy of the Independent Systems, the CIS, was not seen at once as a threat to the Republic.

The Republic had seen several movements like this one rise and fall along the centuries, so no one took Count Dooku’s threat as real, until one of the republican spies reported the CIS was asking its members to create armies of droids.

The news threw the Senate into a state close to panic. Count Dooku was serious in his threat, several star systems were choosing to side with him, and the Republic had no power to oppose him.

The possibility of a massive secession became less and less remote, and with it the need to take appropriate countermeasures to avoid the chance that the Republic might be torn apart.

The Senate’s most immediate and impulsive reaction was to respond to Dooku’s menace with threats of its own. A proposal was made to create a Republican army to oppose the Separatists’ one. As soon it was made, the Senate broke into two parties, the one that approved the creation of the army and the one that opposed it.

Padmé joined the second group. She believed that the creation of an army would not make the chance of a secession more remote, it would only make the chance of a war closer. Violence bred violence, and she firmly believed the only possible way to resolve the crisis was through diplomacy.

Unfortunately, her party was a minority in the Senate. People were scared of possible civil wars between loyalists and separatists and did not want to wait for the time needed to find a diplomatic solution. They did not care that the Jedi and the Sith councils were firmly against the creation of an army—they wanted to feel safe, and they thought the two orders had not enough members to guarantee peace.

Padmé fought with all of her being to make sure that the Military Creation Act did not pass. She travelled across the Republic, met people, argued, discussed, coaxed, did everything in her power to stop the downward spiral of events.

It was around the time her efforts intensified that the first attempts against her life were made. When one of her trusted decoys was killed just after arriving on Coruscant, Chancellor Palpatine couldn’t help but trust her safety to the Sith and Jedi Order.

§

Padmé would always remember the day she saw Anakin, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon again.

It was a bright late afternoon and she had been waiting for their arrival for several hours, something that had given her too much time to think.

The Chancellor and the Jedi and Sith Councils had probably believed they were doing her a courtesy by bringing back together the team that had saved Naboo ten years before—and, in a certain way, it was so.

Padmé was happy to see again the men and the boy that had helped her and her people. A part of her looked forward to meeting them; she was curious to see how Anakin had grown up, how Qui-Gon had aged and how Obi-Wan had matured and changed. The other part of her, instead was afraid. What would it be like to see Obi-Wan? Would she feel again the pang in her heart she used to feel when she thought about him? Would she still read anger on his face? Love? Indifference? Had he found someone else and married? What did she really feel for him?

It was clear to Padmé that she had not completely left him, and what had happened between them behind, but were they only the bitter-sweet memories of her first love or was there something more?

Padmé shook her head. ‘You are pathetic,’ she reprimanded herself. ‘You haven’t thought about him for years, and now, suddenly you start getting all worried. He belongs to the past. The only thing that matters is that he does his job quickly, so that you will be able to get rid of all these guards soon.’

By the time she heard the buzzer, Padmé had managed to regain the cool composure she was noted for, and thus there was no agitation or worry in her as she crossed the living room to meet with her protectors.

The first one she spotted was Qui-Gon. Years had been gentle with the Jedi master; there was a bit more grey in his hair and beard, the lines around his eyes were deeper, but for the rest he was as tall, imposing and distinguished as she remembered.

He bowed deeply to her. “It's a great pleasure to see you again, M'Lady.”

“It has been far too long Master Jinn. I'm so glad our paths have crossed again... but I must

warn you that I think your presence here is unnecessary.”

“I am sure the Jedi and Sith Councils have their reasons,” Qui-Gon answered calmly, as her eyes posed on the youth at his side.

If Qui-Gon had barely changed, Anakin was almost unrecognizable.

“Ani? My goodness you've grown!”

Gone had been the big-eyed child of her memories, replaced by a tall, still growing young man with a winning smile and masculine, angular features. His short hair had darkened and his eyes seemed bluer.

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Anakin spoke, trying to be smooth but failing miserably.

“So have you... grown more beautiful, I mean... and much shorter... for a Senator, I mean.”

Qui-Gon looked indulgently at his apprentice, as Padmé laughed and shook her head.

“Oh Ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.”

Anakin frowned at her answer, but she paid no mind to him, her attention focused on the third man in the room.

Obi-Wan.

He had changed a lot in the past ten years. He had filled out in the body and grown a well-trimmed beard that made him look ruggedly handsome. His hair was slightly longer than his military cut, and his braid now reached past his chest. It looked like Obi-Wan had been very busy in the past years, at least judging by the number of beads his braid sported.

Padmé could not suppress a small shiver when their eyes met for a moment before he bowed deeply in salute.

“Senator Amidala.”

“Sith Knight Kenobi,” she answered, as formal as him, as her eyes roamed his face, trying to read his expression but with no success. His features seemed etched in stone, hard, unbending, cold.

He didn’t even react when Anakin exclaimed, “It’s no longer Knight Kenobi; it’s Master Kenobi now. He was elected to the Sith Council last year!”

“Oh…then congratulations are in order,” Padmé smiled at him in the hope of getting some reaction.

Obi-Wan just bowed his head and curtly said, “I think it is best if we start discussing the situation with your security forces, Senator. The sooner we get down to business, the sooner we will discover who is trying to kill you.”

His cold tone, his decision to take charge of the meeting irritated Padmé. She did not like to feel dismissed and certainly she did not appreciate to be implicitly told she was wasting time.

Her eyes narrowed and she shot an irritated glance at Obi-Wan, but he simply stared back at her, emotionless.

Padmé found herself at a loss about dealing with him. Was his coldness reserved only for her or did he behave like that with everybody?

Whatever the case, she had already enough problems without trying to add new ones to the list. Thus she decided to move on and summoned her chief of security.

“This is Captain Typho,” she introduced the officer when he arrived.

“I am very grateful you are here, Master Kenobi and Master Jinn. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit,” Typho said, after the group had moved to sit on the couches in the middle of the living room.

“I don't need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me,” Padmé commented.

“We're here to protect you Senator, not to start an investigation,” Qui-Gon answered with a frown.

“We will find out who is trying to kill you Padmé, I promise you,” Anakin exclaimed with ardour.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gave a reproachful glance to the younger man.

“We are not going to exceed our mandate, my young Padawan learner,” his master answered calmly, as Padmé shifted her weight, uncomfortable.

“I meant in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course.”

“We are not going through this exercise again, Anakin. You will pay attention to my lead.”

“Why?”

“What?” Qui-Gon arched an eyebrow in stunned surprise, as Padmé and Captain Typho exchanged an embarrassed look, and Obi-Wan’s eyes seemed to become even colder.

“Why else do you think we were assigned to her, if not to find the killer? Protection is a job

for local security... not Jedi. It's overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate,” Anakin explained, his words full of passion.

“We will do as the Council has instructed, and you will learn your place, young one,” Qui-Gon said with a hint of steel in his voice, and Anakin bowed his head.

“Don’t worry, Padawan Skywalker,” Obi-Wan interjected. “My mission is different from yours; I am here to discover who is behind the life attempts.”

Padmé did not like his slightly mocking tone, nor the way he looked at the boy. It was like he did not approve of Anakin’s obvious concern for her, but in a different way than Qui-Gon’s. The Jedi master had reprimanded Anakin for his lack of control, while Obi-Wan…what?

The truth flashed into her mind as a lightening. Obi-Wan was jealous! The thought made her head spin. He was jealous! It meant he still cared for her, even after all those years.

A warm feeling spread inside Padmé as she gave him a smile, a smile that meant ‘You can be as cold as you wish, Obi-Wan, but I know how you feel’. Then she said aloud, “I am sure that with your presence here the mysteries surrounding this threat will be revealed. Now if you will excuse me I will retire.”

Padmé then stood up and walked away, followed by Dormé. She retired into her bedroom, wanting to go to bed soon after an almost sleepless night.

Padmé dismissed Dormé, and after disrobing, she sat at her toilette table and started brushing her long, curly hair, with long, methodical strokes.

Her mind kept on thinking of the just-ended meeting, as she second-guessed her interpretation of Obi-Wan’s reaction toward Anakin.

Maybe she had been mistaken when she had taken it for jealousy. Maybe it was just her wishful thinking, the desire to believe he still reputed her attractive…or the darker wish to know he had not been able to build a life with someone else, that he was as alone as she was.

It was a mean thought, and Padmé pushed it away.

She stared at the mirror in front of her and watched her face broaden in a smile as she remembered Anakin’s reactions to her.

Now, there was no mistaking in his feelings! They had been more than clear.

‘You have grown more beautiful,” he had said, and she repeated it in her mind, again and again.

Padmé was aware she was attractive, but this was the first time someone had told her so openly. Not even Obi-Wan had been so explicit.

More importantly, there had been an authentic feeling in Anakin’s words. His compliment had been sincere and embarrassed, not one of those suave but artificial shows of appreciation she sometimes received from men more attracted by her power than by her.

In Anakin’s gaze, Padmé had seen admiration, real liking…desire? She looked critically at her figure, wondering how the young man would judge her, when a sudden thought made her freeze.

Anakin was a Jedi—and Jedi were forbidden to love or even form attachments with other people. Whatever she had seen in his eyes could not be possibly be desire, for it was not something he was allowed to feel, at least not coupled with the liking he felt for her—and she for him.

Padmé took a deep breath and shook her head. She was allowing her fantasy to run too much. She was letting her loneliness, the loneliness she had thought she had buried so deeply beneath her duty it would not resurface, come out and influence her. The jealousy and the desire she believed to have seen in Obi-Wan and Anakin, were only the fruit of that loneliness. She would be best to stop musing about it and catch a good night of sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 5

Obi-Wan walked out of the terrace and leaned against the balustrade, taking a deep breath.

It had been hard to see Padmé again, even more than he had expected. The anger he had first felt toward her when he had returned to Coruscant ten years ago and under which he had buried his heartbreak, had disappeared along the time. It had left behind only a deep sadness nothing seemed to shake off, no matter what he had done to get rid of it and his memories and feelings.

During the previous ten years, Obi-Wan had thrown all of himself into his duty. Resolute to never fail again and to prove it to himself before then proving it to the rest of the Order, he had accepted the most difficult, dangerous, delicate missions—and succeeded in all of them.

He had become a sort of legend inside the Sith Order, and his election to the Council at only thirty-four had made him the youngest master in history.

Obi-Wan had been proud but also humbled by the appointment, for he had never looked for honours or rewards for his job. He had only wanted to do his duty at the best of his abilities and to be up to the high standards he had set for himself.

He was also honest enough to recognize he had worked so hard not to think of Padmé and the happiness he had barely tasted before losing it for good.

Obi-Wan had tried to forget her, Force only knew how hard he had tried. He had even lived for a while with a fellow knight, Siri Tachi, a lively blond he had known since their days in the crèche. They had always been friends and when Siri had made known to him that she was interested in something more, he had accepted her offer.

It had not worked. Siri was a passionate woman, but Obi-Wan’s passion was reserved only for his duty. Siri had wanted a lover who wanted, needed, loved her, not a man who just cared for her as a friend. They had parted ways, unwilling to destroy their friendship. Siri had ended up marrying Garen Muln, another childhood friend, while Obi-Wan had accepted the fact that he would spend the rest of his life alone, dedicating all his time to the Council, the missions and to teaching to the younger generations.

Time had passed, his wounds had healed so much he had started to think he was ready to take a padawan, when suddenly Chancellor Palpatine had asked the Sith Council to send Obi-Wan to protect Senator Amidala.

Obi-Wan had accepted, of course. He was a Sith, and duty always came first. He would never duck a mission because of personal issues. Also, he had a deep friendship with Qui-Gon, his Jedi partner in several missions, and looked forward to working with him and his padawan once more.

However, he had not been prepared for the stab of pain he had felt when his eyes had posed on Padmé again.

Young Skywalker had been right, she had grown more beautiful. The still green girl he had known had been replaced by a confident, no-nonsense woman. Her body had filled out, her form now ripe, very feminine and tantalizing even beneath those ridiculous ceremonial clothes she wore.

Obi-Wan had felt as if someone had punched him in his stomach when her beauty had slammed against his senses, and the longing he had experienced on Naboo had returned.

He did not care if she had lied to him.

He did not care if she was a politician, a breed he despised and mistrusted.

He did not care if her deception had ruined his life.

He just loved her.

Then, now, always.

§

Another attempt was made against Padmé’s life that very night.

She woke up with a start only to find herself face to face with Anakin’s ignited blue lightsabre, feeling the dangerous warmth of the blade on her neck.

She had barely the time to wonder what was going on when she saw Obi-Wan cross the room in a run and fly through the window to grab onto a probe droid lingering there. The machine sank under his weight but managed to stay afloat and fly away, with the Sith hanging on for dear life, a hundred stories above the city.

Anakin ran away from the room too, but he used the door, almost trampling over Dormé in his haste.

Padmé was left in the company of Typho, Dormé and Qui-Gon and it was the Jedi master that found the corpses of the Kouhuns eels that had been introduced into her room.

“They are very poisonous, Senator,” Qui-Gon explained. “A single bite would have killed you.”

“Who might have done it?” Dormé asked, but it was a rhetorical question, since there was no way they could know.

Qui-Gon shook his head. “We can only hope Obi-Wan and Anakin are able to track down the person who ordered the probe droid to do the dirty job.”

Padmé nodded, and her eyes turned toward the broken window as she prayed for Obi-Wan and Anakin’s safety.

\-----

The two men returned several hours later, tired but unharmed.

They explained to Padmé and the others that they had been able to capture the person that had sent out the probe droid, a Clawdite later identified as Zam Wesell, but she had been killed by a poisonous dart before she could reveal the name of the bounty hunter who had hired her.

Later that same day, Padmé was informed that the Jedi and Sith Councils had decided it was more prudent if she left Coruscant to return to Naboo and hide there. To prevent her objections, they convinced Chancellor Palpatine to transform their request into an order, thus Padmé was more than a little angry when Anakin, her escort to Naboo, came to visit her as she was packing.

“I do not like this idea of hiding,” she said, as she folded her clothes. It caused her to feel as a coward.

“Don't worry. Now that the Council has ordered an investigation, it won't take Master Qui-Gon long to find that bounty hunter,” Anakin answered, as he watched her.

Padmé was far from appraised. “I haven't worked for a year to defeat the "Military Creation Act" not to be here when its fate is decided.”

“Sometimes we have to let go of our pride and do what is requested of us,” the young Jedi said calmly.

“Pride? Ani, you're young, and you don't have a very firm grip on politics. I suggest you reserve your opinions for some other time.”

“Sorry, M'lady. I was only trying to-”

“Ani! No!”

“Please don't call me that.”

Padmé stopped her packing to look at him inquiringly, “What?”

“Ani.”

“I've always called you that... it is your name, isn't it?”

“It's Anakin. When you say Ani it's like I'm still a little boy... and I'm not,” he answered, as his expression darkened.

“I'm sorry, Anakin. It's impossible to deny you've...that you've grown up.” Oh, yes it was really impossible. He looked even taller than the previous day, and the strength of his personality was almost palpable.

Padmé smiled warmly at him, and he ducked his, suddenly shy.

“Master Qui-Gon manages not to see it, and his friend, Master Obi-Wan, treats me like a child, always calling me ‘Young Skywalker’-- as if it is a fault to still be young.”

“Mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It's the only way we grow,” Padmé commented with a reasonable, but not judging tone, as she closed one of her suitcases.

Anakin paced along the room and went on, “Don't get me wrong, Qui-Gon is a great mentor, wise and powerful. I am truly thankful to be his apprentice. Only... although I am a Padawan learner, in some ways--a lot of ways -- I am ahead of him. I am ready for the trials. I know I am! He knows it too. He believes I am too unpredictable. Other Jedi my age have gone through the trials and made it. I know I started my training late, but he won't let me move on.”

Padmé smiled at his juvenile impatience. It looked like Qui-Gon was right in thinking the young man still needed some training, especially in curbing his impulsivity. However, she quite liked the fire she could sense in him. He was different from any man she had ever met…where Obi-Wan made her think of a serene pond, Anakin was more like a river, tempestuous and wild. What would it be like to let him drag her with him?

“That must be frustrating,” she commented.

“It's worse... he's overly critical. He never listens! He just doesn't understand! It's not fair!”

Padmé could not suppress a laugh, shaking her head. “I am sorry, but you sounded exactly

like that little boy I once knew, when he didn't get his way.”

“I am not whining! I am not.” Anakin’s expression became even more brooding.

She smiled at him. “I didn't say it to hurt you.”

“I know,” Anakin looked at her from his lowered lashes.

Padmé approached him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Anakin?” They looked into each other's eyes for the first time, and her breath almost caught in her throat as she completed her line. “Don't try to grow up too fast.”

“I am grown up. You said it yourself.” His gaze became deeper, smouldering, intent.

Padmé averted her head and moved away. “Please don't look at me like that.”

“Why not?”

“It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“Sorry, M'lady.”

Anakin moved away as Padmé tried to bring her fluttering heart under control. She needed to keep her distance from him during their trip. His intensity was too much. If she was not careful she would end up burned, and she was not sure she could bear another blow like that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 6

From that moment on, things seemed to speed up and Padmè struggled to keep up with them.

One moment she was on a shuttle directed to the spaceport, listening to Qui-Gon’s final instructions to Anakin, the other she was deep in space, sitting in front of a modest dinner and listening to the Padawan’s personal interpretation of the Jedi Code about love.

One moment she was paying a visit to her family in Theed, denying adamantly Anakin was her boyfriend as her sister had suggested, the next she was on a terrace overlooking a lake, her head still reeling from the deep kiss Anakin had just given her.

A kiss that, no matter his definition of love and compassion, Anakin should have never given her. A kiss that filled her with longing, but also with dread, for they could never be together.

Anakin apologized for the kiss, as if it had been only his fault, but after a few days spent without mentioning the episode, he returned to it, his eyes pleading and desperate.

“May I tell you something?” he asked one evening, stepping inside the fire-lit room.

“I don't know,” she answered, tensing slightly.

“I can only think of you.” Blunt, direct and to the point.

“Anakin, don't...” she tried to stop him, but her words were silenced by his passionate speech.

“From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm close to you again, I am in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over – my mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...”

Padmé stood there, silent, for what her brain knew she should say was not what her heart wanted to hear.

“If you are suffering as much as I am, tell me,” Anakin pressed her, coming closer.

Padmé turned around, tormenting her hands. “I can't. We can't. It's just not possible.”

“Anything's possible. Padme, please listen...”

“You listen. We live in a real world. Come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi Knight.

I am a Senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go…regardless of the way we feel about each other.”

“Then you do feel something!” Anakin’s face light up. “There's an extraordinary connection between us. You can't deny that.”

Yes, there was, but she had thought the same with Obi-Wan, and look how it had ended!

“Ani, it doesn't make any difference. Jedi aren't allowed to marry. You swore an oath, remember? You'd be expelled from the Order. I will not let you give up your responsibilities and your future, for me.” Padmé tried to make him see reason, all the while knowing it would be to no avail.

“I was destined to be a Jedi. I don't think I could be anything else. But you are asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot be. I wish I could push my feelings away-- but I

can't.”

Padmé shook her head and stepped away, before turning around to face him again. “I am not going to give into this. I am not going to throw my life away. I have more important things to do than fall in love.” But even if she tried to speak, she knew she did not truly mean it. Her long forgotten dream of love, passion and happiness had returned to plague her again since Anakin had re-entered her life.

“It wouldn't have to be that way...we could keep it a secret.”

“Then we'd be living a lie. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?”

“No, you're right. It would destroy us.”

It seemed like a bitter irony of destiny. It was like Padmé had been back to ten years before, when she had had a similar conversation, only that now she was the one concerned about the rules and about what could happen to Anakin should they do what he wanted and he were discovered.

\-----

Shortly after that discussion, Padmé and Anakin left Naboo for Tatooine, for he had been plagued by nightmares about his mother, and he desperately needed to ascertain she was all right.

She was not.

Shmi Skywalker had been kidnapped by a Tusken Raiders’ tribe, and Anakin could do nothing but bring home her corpse.

She had been beaten and tortured to death and the horror of it made it easier for Padmé to understand and even forgive Anakin when he confessed to her that he had killed every single member of the tribe, women and children included.

Moved by Anakin’s heartbreak, Padmé did what she could to soothe and comfort him, and forgot what Obi-Wan had told her years before about how dangerous uncontrolled anger and hate were for a Sith or a Jedi.

She did not realize the extent to which Anakin had broken his vows and betrayed his teachings. She just saw a desperate young man, who was probably too passionate and intense for his own good. A young man with a big, generous heart, a heart he wanted to give her.

Padmé sensed his need, his desire, his longing and let them carry her away. It felt good to be needed, to feel loved with such passion. To feel wanted and pursued by someone so open and ready to risk so much for her.

It was a heady feeling, and it was something Padmé was not ready to cope with. With all her experience in the political arena, she was still a novice in the matters of the heart, and it was there, on Tatooine, that Padmé fell in love with Anakin Skywalker, although she did not confess her feelings at once.

\-----

She had wanted to wait for the perfect moment, but it never arrived.

Having left Tatooine for Geonosis in the hope to save Qui-Gon, who was held prisoner by Count Dooku, Padmé and Anakin were captured and sentenced to death.

Thus it was in a dark tunnel, leading to the arena where they would be executed in front of a blood-thirsty crowd that Padmé finally voiced her love.

“Don't be afraid,” Anakin whispered as they were roughly hauled on an open cart pulled by a strange beast.

“I am not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life,” she murmured softly, looking deeply into his eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“I love you,” Padmé said simply.

“You love me! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie. That it would destroy our lives...”

“I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. My love for you is a puzzle, Ani, for which I have no answers. I can't control it... and now I don't care. I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.”

Padmé leant toward Anakin, fighting against her restraints to be able to kiss him a last time.

“I have no desire to be cured of this love either. Long or short, I vow to spend the rest of my life with you,” Anakin swore when their lips parted, before kissing her again as the cart started to move.

§

Padmé and Anakin did not die that day. A rescue party composed by Sith under Obi-Wan’s command arrived just in time to save them and Qui-Gon. They were soon joined by Master Yoda and the Clone army Anakin’s master had discovered on Kamino.

Many Sith died that day, in a battle that did not stop the war against the CIS, but made it begin, and Anakin lost his right arm and another part of his innocence to Count Dooku’s red blade.

It was Obi-Wan’s intervention that saved his and Qui-Gon’s lives, even if he was not able to stop the Separatists’ leader, but when Padmé met the Sith on the cruiser taking them home, thanking him was the last thing in her mind.

They met near the sickbay, as she was looking through a window at the bacta tank where Anakin was floating to heal from the electric bolts Dooku had invested him with.

Padmé saw Obi-Wan approach, limping slightly and nursing a bandaged arm against his chest.

Her heart filled with concern, but before she could even think about something to say, he attacked her with a hurricane of accusations.

“So now you have set your eyes on him, Senator! You didn’t manage to destroy my life and career and so you are now trying to do the same to him,” he hissed, his eyes steely grey.

Padmé fought the desire to let her jaw drop in stupor and decided to respond to the disdain in his voice with her anger.

“How do you dare to make such accusations, Master Kenobi! Anakin is just a friend.” Liar! screamed a voice inside her, but she ignored it.

“I hope for him it is really so. And, if it is really so, you would do him a great favour by staying away. The boy is smitten with you, and if I have noticed it, it would not pass long before the Jedi do the same. Stay away from him—if you are really his friend, of course.” Obi-Wan ended with a smirk.

“And that what does it mean?” she asked, referring to his tone and his last words.

“That I know you are a good liar, Senator, and that I would not be surprised if, instead of putting an end to the boy’s infatuation you decided to go along with it.”

“He’s not a boy! He’s a man!” Padmé exploded. “And why do you call it infatuation? It’s love! He’s willing to break the rules for me, you know? He’s willing to risk his life to be with me—something you have not been!”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his anger replaced by pity. “You are pathetic. You should hear yourself as you speak. Grow up, Padmé! The Jedi Council will discover you and expel him from the order—and then, what will you do?”

Padmé’s hand connected sharply with his bearded cheek, but he did not even flitch. “How do you dare to call me pathetic!” she hissed.

Obi-Wan just shook his head. “Hitting me will not change the truth. Leave young Skywalker alone, or you will end up ruining his life—your lives.” His voice was now softer, with no disdain, as if he was really concerned, but that part of Padmé that was still hurt by the abrupt way he had left her on Naboo refused to acknowledge it.

Instead, she lashed against him. “You know what I think, Obi-Wan? I think you are jealous. You are jealous of Anakin because he has now what you were not man enough to take when it was offered to you.”

They were words said with the intent to hurt him, to cause as much emotional damage to a man that had not done nothing more but warn her. Padmé was not proud about them, but it was too late to take them back.

Obi-Wan paled, and she saw his jaw work as his eyes flashed with anger. She thought for a moment he was going to strike her, but he did not.

When he spoke there was no anger in his tone, only regret. “If I remember correctly, I offered you my undying love and you did not take it. If staying true to my principles makes me less than a man in your eyes, then so be it. May the Force be with you, Senator.”

Obi-Wan turned around and walked away, his head up, his back ramrod straight, but his limp was more noticeable.

Padmé watched him leave her in silence, stubbornly suffocating the need to run to him and ask him to forgive her.

§

Obi-Wan walked away slowly, his wounded leg hurting more than before. Or was it not his leg, but his heart that hurt so much?

‘You are jealous,’ Padmé’s words echoed in him mind. Was he really?

The most honourable part of himself would have liked to emphatically deny it, but he was honest enough to admit that yes, he was jealous. Or better, envious, for Skywalker was going to have the woman he had longed for ten years.

Padmé had been very clear about it. Skywalker was going to break the rules for her, as he had been unable to do, and she was going to belong with him. Obi-Wan had seen it in her passion-filled eyes, heard it in her determined voice and sensed it in the Force. Nothing he could say or do would stop her.

Obi-Wan paused and leant his forehead against the ship window, looking at the stars flashing by.

He should have not talked to her so aggressively. He should have not let her think his words had been dictated by jealousy, even if it was not totally incorrect.

He should have approached her more calmly, but the need to prevent her from committing a mistake had been too strong—as the fear he had felt when he had seen her chained in the arena on Geonosis.

He had acted with an impulsivity unbefitting a Sith master, and the only result he had obtained was to push her more firmly into Skywalker’s arms.

Obi-Wan did not completely trust the young man. He had sensed from the start that he was dangerous and his opinion had not changed.

He had alerted Qui-Gon about the risks of training a boy so old and shaped by a different life style, but his words had not been listened to.

Along the years, Obi-Wan had met and worked near Qui-Gon and Skywalker several times, for they made an excellent Sith-Jedi team. They had gone on missions together, but while he posed an unconditional faith in Qui-Gon as a partner and comrade in arms, he was not as sure about his teaching methods.

He thought Qui-Gon was too lenient with his Padawan. Too ready to praise him and remind the boy how special he was.

Obi-Wan had watched, frowned in disapproval, but kept silent for Qui-Gon had made clear he did not like to received unwanted advice, especially from a man who had never taken a padawan learner.

Obi-Wan had observed Skywalker become more powerful but also more arrogant—an arrogance not even a Sith master would approve, for it was not balanced by an equally strong commitment to the way of life the boy had vowed to follow.

Skywalker was animated by the need to do well, and that was positive, but he had little control, and Qui-Gon seemed blind to his fault.

And now…now Skywalker was clearly in love with Padmé and he would not be stopped by the rules of his order. He would not renounce his attachment.

Obi-Wan sighed. What was he going to do? Alert Qui-Gon? Report Skywalker to the Jedi Council? Have him expelled from the Jedi Order?

No, he thought, it would be a bad mistake.

Not only Padmé would come to hate him, something he could not bear, but Skywalker, enraged and embittered with both the Sith and Jedi would become an easy prey for the Dark Lords.

No, Skywalker had to remain a Jedi. That way he would be kept under control or at least checked over by the council, while Obi-Wan would also keep an eye on him…and Padmé.

He would be discreet, invisible, silent—but he would be there, watching over her.

Darkness was spreading in the galaxy and Obi-Wan would not allow it to swallow that bright light that was Padmé.

Never.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 7

Padmé and Anakin married on Naboo, eight days after the battle of Geonosis.

The ceremony was held on the terrace where Anakin had first kissed her, with only Artoo and Threepio as witnesses.

It was a spring afternoon, the flowers were blooming, and Padmé felt like her true life was going to start then.

The ten days that followed were full of love, of passion, of happiness.

Padmé and Anakin made love, swam, hiked in the sweet smelling forests, cuddled on the divan in front of the fireplace, and spared no thought for what was happening away from their little heaven.

However, it could not last.

The Republic was precipitating in that spiral of violence that would later be called the Clone Wars.

The Supreme Chancellor, invested with special powers by the Senate in order to better face the threat posed by the CIS, entrusted the command of the clone troops to the Sith and the Jedi.

Qui-Gon and Anakin were given their own battalion to lead, and thus, it was with a weary heart that the young man took leave from his new wife to join the battlefront.

\-----

Padmé watched her husband depart from the terrace where they had gotten married, praying for his safety and wondering when they would see each other again.

She did not stay on Naboo much longer: without Anakin to make her forget it, her duty returned to call her with an insistent voice.

She moved back to Coruscant, and took an active role in the diplomatic missions constantly arranged in the hope to stop the flood of planets wanting to join the CIS.

Padmé had never been the kind of person who ducked duty when things grew harder or more dangerous. She had demonstrated it during the occupation of Naboo, and she proved it again now.

She travelled the galaxy from one planet to another, talking, discussing, coaxing, cajoling, as a brave defender of the Republic as the soldier fighting and dying on the battlefronts.

It was during one of these missions that she met Obi-Wan again for, surprisingly enough given the Sith Order’s propensity for more aggressive approaches, he was getting a reputation as a first class negotiator. One that left nothing untried before recurring to the army under his command.

Padmé assisted and attended his negotiations more than once, and the respect she had always felt for him increased even more. She was sure there was no more loyal servant of the Republic than him.

As for their personal relationship, after the first, awkward moments, they had decided to behave like the seasoned diplomats they were. They talked and discussed, polite and courteous, never touching on a personal topic, even if Padmé felt Obi-Wan’s pensive eyes rest on her more than once. She especially remembered one of these occasions.

It had been during a pause in the negotiations on Rekam. Someone had switched on the holonet and Padmé had almost startled when she had seen Anakin’s face on the screen, a long scar marring the skin near his eye.

Aware of how she had almost betrayed herself, something very dangerous, especially in front of Jedi or Sith, she had looked around almost fearfully, feeling Obi-Wan’s gaze on her.

She had tensed, fully expecting to meet an angry or reproachful glance, and instead had found no judgement, no condemnation in his calm blue-grey eyes. Just acceptance.

Obi-Wan knew—he had known from the beginning. He had the power to destroy Anakin’s life, to have him expelled from the Jedi Order, for the Council would certainly take seriously his accusations, but he was not going to do anything.

And not because, as she had unfairly accused him, he was not man enough, but because…

because he was too much of a man.

Obi-Wan was too much of a gentleman, too much of a cold-headed person to commit an act that would destroy a young man’s life and ruin her career for good.

This was what Padmé read in the earnest eyes that calmly held her glance, and the relief she felt translated in a smile, of gratitude, appreciation—and apology for how she had treated him.

Obi-Wan replied with just a nod, but she knew he had understood everything that had been said—or better, not said – in those brief, yet long moments.

§

As time passed, the war became even more violent and brutal, as new battlefronts opened in every corner of the Galaxy.

Padmé watched with powerless eyes as star systems fell prey to civil wars between the local loyalists and separatists parties and the Republican army was sent more and more often to resolve those fratricide conflicts.

The tool the civil population paid to the war was as high as the one the Sith and Jedi orders paid, for everyday the news arrived that some of their members had fallen.

The Sith Order was especially strained: smaller than their Jedi counterpart, it had suffered severe losses on Geonosis, and its knights were always involved in the more risky situations, for their military training was superior to the Jedi’s.

As the war raged she also started to worry for the Republic itself. The Senate kept on granting special prerogatives to the Supreme Chancellor who, little by little, was centring in his hands all the powers.

Palpatine kept on reassuring the Senate he would give back the powers and resign when the war was over, but Padmé could not shake the uneasiness she felt. She had read too many political and philosophical treaties not to know how intoxicating and addictive absolute power was, and how hard it was to relinquish it once you had tasted it.

Padmé was not alone in her concerns. Bail Organa and Mon Motha shared them, and so did other senators. They had joined in a loyalist committee, which was not seen very well by Palpatine, for he believed it was blatant show of mistrust in his regards.

Anakin was not supportive of his wife’s efforts and as time passed, Padmé realized how differently they looked at the Republic and its ruler.

“The Chancellor is a good man,” Anakin said one evening, while he was home for a brief leave, just after being knighted. “He is doing what he thinks best for the Republic. I am glad he is being given more prerogatives, this will give him more decisional power and we will lose less time waiting for the Senate to make their mind.”

“Anakin, the Senate doesn’t lose time! Certain decisions that will affect billions of people cannot be made quickly and without pondering all the consequences. The group I am part of, is not against the Chancellor on a whim. We simply believe it is time we start to think about a diplomatic solution since the military intervention is not working.”

Anakin just smiled, condescendingly. “I know you believe it, Angel, but diplomacy doesn’t resolve everything. Certain people must be taught lessons they will never forget,” he said, a hard edge in his voice.

“Is this what Qui-Gon has taught you?” Padmé asked, uneasy, as a voice inside her whispered how little she knew the man she had married.

“No, he’s like you. He always wants to talk, talk, talk. He is weak, like his Sith friend Kenobi.”

The lack of respect in Anakin’s tone as he referred to his master and Obi-Wan made Padmé swallow hard. What had happened to make Anakin so critical, so disdainful of two men he had known and worked with for most of his life?

“Why do you say so? General Kenobi has resolved many a crisis without shooting a single missile. I think it is admirable.”

“Yes, yes, of course. I should have known you were in love with “The Negotiator” as the press calls him,” Anakin smirked, not noticing her sharp intake of breath at the words “in love”.

Of course, Anakin had not meant them literally, but still they had made Padmé very uncomfortable.

Unwilling to ponder the reason behind her discomfort, she was more than happy to drop the matter when Anakin commented, “Let’s stop talking about the war or your Senate committee, otherwise I will starting thinking you have a lover there.” It was said with a playful tone, but there was something hard in his eyes as he stared at her. “My leave is brief and I don’t want to waste a single moment of it.”

Padmé nodded, smiled, and let him pull her against his chest and kiss her, and in the warmth of his embrace she forgot all of her concerns—at least for a while.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 8

The day Padmé discovered she was pregnant was both her happiest and most worrying ever.

She had not realized, until the moment the pregnancy test turned positive, how much she had desired to became a mother.

Her heart swelled with happiness and the desire to shout it aloud, but she quickly suppressed it, as her thoughts turned to Anakin.

Her husband was far away from Coruscant, fighting in the Outer Rim. Personal communications were all but impossible without passing through the military channels, something that could not be done without a very good reason.

Padmé’s joy was dampened by her worry about Anakin’s reaction to the news, when she would finally be able to tell him. Also she would need to disguise her condition for the time being, for nobody knew she was married and her pregnancy, if known, would to raise many questions of curiosity in the Senate and the press.

What would she and Anakin do? Would she have to resign from the Senate to move back to Naboo and raise there her child? Or would she trust her son to her family and have him raised by her mother and sister? No, she could not bear that thought. They would have to find another solution. But which one?

\-----

Padmé was almost happy when Chancellor Palpatine was kidnapped by General Grievous and all the Jedi and the Sith able to leave their posts were recalled to Coruscant.

Anakin was among them, and so was Obi-Wan. Together they managed to board Grievous’ ship and rescue Palpatine. Count Dooku was killed in the action, while Grievous had been able to escape.

Padmé was among the crowd of politicians, Jedi and Sith gathered near the Senate building when the shuttle carrying the Chancellor and his rescuers arrived.

Anakin jumped down and walked at Palpatine’s side, waving and flashing bright smiles to the journalists kept at bay by the Senate guards, while Obi-Wan followed them, his face solemn and clearly worried.

Padmé had not the time to wonder about it, for she rushed to hide behind a large pillar, waiting for her husband to get away from the crowd and join her.

“Oh, Anakin! Thank goodness, you're back,” Padmé exclaimed as they embraced and kissed.

“I missed you, Padme. I've missed you so,” he murmured, his eyes roaming her face.

“There were whispers . . . that you'd been killed. I've been living with unbearable dread.”

“I am back, I am all right. It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime. And it might have been ... If the Chancellor hadn't been kidnapped I don't think they would have ever brought us back from the Outer Rim sieges.”

Anakin started to give her another kiss, but Padmé stepped back, suddenly conscious of the nearby journalists. “Wait, not here . . .”

Her husband embraced her again, “Yes, here! I am tired of all this deception. I don't care if they know we're married.”

“Anakin, don't say things like that. You're important to the Republic, to ending this war. I love you more than anything, but I won't let you give up your life as a Jedi for me . . .”

Anakin bent his head, wanting to silence her with a kiss, then he raised it again, concern in his eyes. “Are you all right? You're trembling. What's going on?”

“I'm just excited to see you,” Padmé answered, not wanting to tell him of the pregnancy in such a public place.

“That's not it. I sense more-- what is it?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“You're frightened.” His expression hardened, ”Tell me what's going on!”

Suddenly all the tension Padmé had accumulated in the previous months exploded, and she started crying. “You've been gone five months . . . it's been very hard for me. I've never

felt so alone. There's -“

“Is there someone else?” Anakin asked, grabbing her by a wrist.

“What!” Padmé started at him for a moment, confused about his question. The she realized what he had meant and felt rage stir inside her. What kind of woman did he think she was? “No! Why do you think that? Your jealousy upsets me so much, Anakin. I do nothing to betray you, yet you still don't trust me. Nothing has changed.”

Anakin had at least the decency to look contrived. “I am afraid of losing you, Padme, that's all.”

“You won’t lose me, Anakin. You must stop being so afraid,” Padmé whispered, caressing his cheek.

“It's just that I've never seen you like this . . .”

Padmé came to a decision: if she did not tell him the truth, he would kept on mulling over it and come to wrong conclusions.

“Something wonderful has happened… I am . . . Ani, I am pregnant,” she spilled out in a rush.

Anakin was stunned, his throat swallowing several times, before he took her in his arms.

“That's . . . that's wonderful,” he said softly.

“What are we going to do?” Padmé voiced the question that had been tormenting her in the past months.

“We're not going to worry about anything right now, all right? This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.”

Anakin pulled her against him, and Padmé lowered her head on his chest, letting his heartbeat soothe her. She was about to let go of all her concerns, and truly believe they would find the perfect solution, when her eyes posed on Obi-Wan.

He was standing a few feet away, half-covered by a pillar, unmoving, his arms folded in the sleeves of his dark grey robe. He looked like the picture of the perfect Sith serenity, but for his face and his eyes.

He had seen everything: their embraces, their kisses—and the swollen belly she had tried so hard to conceal beneath her voluminous gowns.

There was no mistaking his expression. The Sith Master was worried, terribly so, it was enough to make her shiver and forget all the positive thoughts she had just entertained.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 9

Padmé woke up in the middle of the night, just in time to see Anakin put on his robe and leave the bedroom.

Concerned, she followed him, finding him on the veranda. Padmé took his left hand, surprised to feel his skin so cold.

“What's bothering you?”

“Nothing.” Anakin touched the japor pendant around her neck that he had given her as a small boy. “I remember when I gave this to you.”

“Anakin, how long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?” Padmé said, reading through his attempts to distract her.

“It was a dream.”

“Bad?”

“Like the ones I used to have about my mother just before she died.”

“And?”

“It was about you.”

They looked at each other, as Padmé tried to remember what Anakin’s dream of his mother had been about.

“Tell me,” she urged him, thinking it would him good to unburden himself.

“It was only a dream.” Anakin took a deep breath then continued, “You die in childbirth.”

“And the baby?”

“I don't know.”

“It was only a dream,” Padmé repeated his previous words, trying to reassure him.

Anakin walked closer and took her in his arms, “ I won't let this one become real, Padmé. I will find a way to prevent it. I will not let you die.” His voice was fierce, his eyes blazing with determination.

Padmé nodded, but she did not like the look on her husband’s face. Of course, she did not like to think she might die of childbirth, who would? But the way Anakin had claimed he would not let it happen was not…healthy.

Death was natural part of life and even if nobody liked to mull over his or her own death, it was a given fact. Anakin’s words had not only betrayed the natural fear of losing someone dear—they had also spoken of an obsessive need to control everything, death included.

Padmé then remembered what he had said on Tatooine, after his mother’s death. He had vowed that one day he would be so powerful he would prevent people from dying—the same promise he had just done her.

Back then Padmé had thought they were only the words of a shocked young man, and gave them no importance. Now- now instead they took a more sinister meaning.

She was sure nobody was able to prevent people from dying, but she was suddenly scared of what Anakin could do, of how far he would go to find a way to ‘save’ her.

“Listen Anakin,” she said, running her hand along his tense back. “Why don’t you talk about these dreams with Qui-Gon or maybe Master Yoda? Maybe they will be able to help you to see it is nothing more than a nightmare.”

Anakin turned his face to look at her, and she could see he wanted to protest, but she stopped him posing two fingers over his lips.

“Do it for me, please.”

Anakin nodded, “I will, Angel. For you.”

Padmé smiled, “Good. Now let’s return to bed. Tomorrow I have a Senate meeting and I don’t wish to fall asleep midway into it.” And speaking so she took him by the hand and led him back into the apartment.

§

Padmé stared out of her bedroom window, thinking back to the conversation she had just had with Anakin.

Her husband had admitted he was not the Jedi he should be and that he wanted more. More of what? He had just been accepted into the Jedi Council at the age of only twenty-two, what more could he want? True, his appointment had been due to the Chancellor’s request, but still…

His words had unsettled her, for even if she was not an expert in Jedi matters, she knew the extent Anakin was breaking the teachings of his order.

She had met several Jedi and a few Sith along the years and she had never heard one of them claiming he wanted more for himself. All they talked about was the Republic, the Force and their duty. Even after seeing comrades and loved ones die, they still put the Republic before themselves.

It was then, in that precise moments as she looked at the sun set over Coruscant that Padmé realized that, when Anakin had married her, he had not only broken a rule of an old code. He had put himself, his needs before those of the Jedi, before his duty, before the Republic.

The gesture that until that moment she had seen as the proof of his selfless love, now became the demonstration of his egoism.

Padmé bit the heel of her hand to stop the tears from falling along her cheeks. What had she done? Why had she not stepped away when she still had the choice? Why had she not understood that the Jedi rule against attachment and possession had its reason to be?

Anakin was rumoured to be the most powerful Jedi alive…what would happen if he decided to use his power not for the good of the Republic but for his own advantage?

He was obsessed by his fear to lose her and his need to save her by his nightmares…what had he said to her a little while ago? “I have found a way to save you.” And later, “ I am becoming so powerful with my new knowledge of the Force, I will be able to keep you from dying.”

What had he meant with ‘my new knowledge of the Force’? Who was teaching him? Or was someone preying on his fears to have Anakin do something he should not?

Unbidden the image of Palpatine flashed in front of her eyes. Padmé remembered how brusquely Anakin had dismissed her plea to use his friendship with the Chancellor to convince him to ask for a truce now that Count Dooku was dead.

Anakin had accused her of trying to manipulate him as the Jedi Council had done when they had asked him to report about the Chancellor’s activities, and had refused to listen to her.

Only now Padmé realized the great, perhaps too great, influence Palpatine had over Anakin.

Should…Padmé found difficult to even formulate the thought…should Palpatine decide not to resign when the war was over, would Anakin side with him? He was popular with the press, they called him ‘The Hero With No Fear’ and his choice would have a great influence on the people’s opinion.

Padmé massaged her temple, trying to rub away her headache. Perhaps she was overreacting. Perhaps it was an effect of her pregnancy. Perhaps…perhaps she was right and she could not keep everything bottled inside her.

She needed to talk with someone, to know if she was indeed worrying for nothing or if she was right in being so concerned.

But who could she talk with? Her parents? They knew she was married, but were not politics or Jedi experts, and they barely knew Anakin.

Qui-Gon? He would be the ideal person, for nobody knew Anakin better than him, but he was a Jedi. Could she tell him his Padawan had married her? By doing so, she wouldn’t only jeopardize Anakin’s future as Jedi, but also put his master in the position of having to choose between his former apprentice and his duty to the order.

No, Padmé could not do that to such a generous, gentle man as Qui-Gon. He did not deserve it. But she still needed help.

She needed someone who would understand her concerns but would not be feel obliged to act in any way. Someone who was able to listen and give advise without judging. Someone who had already proved he would not betray her.

Obi-Wan.

§

Obi-Wan pressed the buzzer of Senator Amidala’s apartment, as his sharp eyes scanned the corridor.

He had not met a single person – guard, clerk, servant – on his way up to the flat, and he had the feeling it had been done on purpose. Padmé had repeated at least three times this had to be a very private meeting, and she had probably made sure nobody saw him.

Further musings were interrupted when the door slid open and Padmé appeared on the threshold.

A look of relief washed over her features. “You came,” she murmured, gesturing him inside.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan answered, surprised by her lame comment. Padmé was a smooth talker and such bad starting line was out of character. Was she all right?

Obi-Wan studied her form critically. Her belly was huge with the new lives she was carrying, and her skin had a healthy colour. However, her features were tense, tired.

‘She is not unwell,’ he concluded as he followed her in the living room. ‘She is worried.’

Obi-Wan sat where she indicated him and watched as she did the same in front of him, giving her time to collect her thoughts.

Padmè stood there, head lowered, evidently struggling to find the words to tell whatever she wanted to say.

Finally Obi-Wan could not take it anymore and gently asked, “Is there something I can do for you, Padmé?”

The use of her given name, done to remind her that, despite of everything he still cared for her, did the trick.

Padmé raised her head and met his gaze. “Yes, Obi-Wan. I need to talk of something that has been bothering me, and you are the only one I can trust with it.”

Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow, but did not comment.

“It concerns Anakin…”

“Your… husband?”

“Yes.” There was relief in her voice, as if she was happy he knew how things really were. “Yes, my husband. You have known him for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I have. I’ve undertaken several missions with he and his master.”

“And you have been meeting him often to talk about sieges and military strategy…”

Obi-Wan simply nodded, wanting to see where she was headed.

“Have you noticed something different in him lately?” Padmé asked with a hurried tone.

“I cannot say I have seen him a lot lately. Since his…election…to the Jedi Council he has been spending more and more time with the Supreme Chancellor,” Obi-Wan said, observing her closely. He did not like the way she twisted the fabric of her dress with her hands. It was a show of the barely controlled anxiety he could sense in the Force around her.

“Oh,” she sounded disappointed.

“Listen, Padmé, why don’t you tell me why are you so bothered? I feel you are very worried, and this tension is not good for the little ones.”

Padmé’s eyes widened. “Little ones? Do you mean I am carrying twins?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes. They are quite strong in the Force, I can perceive their signatures very easily.” Then he frowned, “Did not the doctor tell you?”

“I-I have not seen one. I didn’t want the pregnancy to become public knowledge. People would start gossiping and trying to discover who the father is.”

“Well, you could come to the Sith Temple for a check up. Our healers are very good, and they are not interested in gossips.”

Padmé smiled, grateful. “That would be wonderful.”

“Then I will set an appointment for you, all right?”

“Perfect.”

“Now that this is settled, tell me what is bothering you,” Obi-Wan commanded gently, his eyes boring at her. Padmé hesitated, and he leant forward, reaching out to take one of her hands in his own. It was chilly. “You must know by now you can trust me. I have always known of you and Anakin; I could have gone to the Jedi Council and report him, but I didn’t. I didn’t three years ago, and I won’t now.”

“But maybe you should…” Padmé said, her voice a little more than a whisper.

“What?”

She stood up and walked by the window, hugging her belly. “Anakin has changed,” she began, not looking at him. “He is no longer the sweet boy I married. He is darker, always brooding, and no longer confides with me. He has grown mistrusting and overtly critical of the Jedi Council, and he is far too close to Palpatine. He is obsessed by a dream he had about me...he thinks I am going to die in childbirth and he is desperate to find a way to ‘save’ me…and I am afraid of the extent he could go to do it…” Padmé turned around to face him and he could see the tears streaking down her cheeks. “I am…am afraid for him…of him.” she finished in a whisper, as she started sobbing.

Her pain made Obi-Wan’s heart constrict. He hated to see a woman cry, especially if she was Padmé. He stood up and crossed the room to the window, wrapping her in his arms and urging her to pose her head on his chest.

Padmé did not resist his embrace. Instead she buried her face against his neck and wept without restraint, her tears soaking the fabric of his robe.

Obi-Wan held her, murmuring comforting nonsense and using the Force to soothe her, as a part of him, the one that had never forgotten how it felt to have her in his arms, rejoiced at her familiar warmth and scent.

‘Stop this at once, Kenobi,’ he thought. ‘Padmé needs your help, not your nostalgic musings.’

Yes, Padmé needed his help, but Obi-Wan was not sure he could give it to her, not after what she had said him—and especially not after what he had seen on the Invisible Hand.

He remembered in a flash how Palpatine had ordered Skywalker to kill the now harmless Dooku, and how the younger man had obeyed, murdering the Separatist leader with chilling cold blood.

Skywalker and the Chancellor did not know he had seen it. They thought he had fainted when Dooku had slammed him against a wall, but it had not been so. He had been conscious and had watched as the scene had evolved, although he had not expected the young Jedi to follow the politician’s order.

Nobody but his fellow council members knew what he had seen. They had decided to keep a close eye on Palpatine and Skywalker for a while before contacting the Jedi Council. They had not liked what had happened, but proof was needed before they could act against the Chancellor.

Obi-Wan had never liked Palpatine and he had once told Qui-Gon it was a mistake to let his Padawan be so close to the politician. Qui-Gon had only chided him for being too suspicious. Obi-Wan hated to have been proved right in this instance.

“Obi-Wan?” Padmé’s voice, weak and muffled by the fabric of his robe intruded into his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Do you think there is something you can do?”

“I will try to talk with your husband and with Master Jinn. The man loves Anakin as a son and he will not condemn him should he discover you are married. Instead, he will do everything he can to help his Padawan…if Anakin actually wants to be helped and is willing to listen,” Obi-Wan ended in an afterthought, giving voice to his greater doubts.

“Yes, yes, you are right,” Padmé nodded against his chest, then took a step back.

Obi-Wan let her go with some regret, but his breath caught in his throat when he saw the way she was looking at him.

Her eyes were reddened and puffy, but the relief on her face was palpable and her smile…oh how he had longed to see her smile at him like that!

It did not matter if she was smiling because he had promised he would help her husband—and he fully intended to do it – she was smiling at him, something he had thought would never seen again after what had happened between them.

“Obi-Wan?”

“Yes?” He lowered his head to look at her.

“Thank you.”

“Thank me only when Anakin is better,” he said, not wanting to give her too many hopes.

“No, it’s not that,” Padmé shook her head, and raised a hand to caress his bearded cheek. “Thank you for being here. For being you.”

Unable to answer with word to her declaration, Obi-Wan let his actions speak for him and pulled Padmé into another heartfelt embrace.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 10

Padmé had lost count of the times she had surprised herself looking out the window of her bedroom in the last days.

She was doing that now, her eyes fixed on the elegant shapes of the Jedi Temple, focused on the central tower, where Anakin had told her the council chamber was located.

She did not know how, but she was aware Anakin was in that chamber now, and she felt with sickening certainty something bad was going to happen.

The sunset had just begun and a voice inside her whispered the imminent fall of darkness would mark more than the end of the day.

Telling herself she had to stop with these morbid thoughts, Padmé turned her eyes to the right, looking at the Sith Temple. It was smaller than its Jedi counterpart, but its compact design spoke of strength, solidity, reliability.

It made her think of Obi-Wan.

If she closed her eyes, she could again feel the strength of his arms around her, the solidity of his chest, the scent of his skin, the warmth of his body, when he had held and comforted her.

He had been wonderful to her. Not only had he arranged for her a private medical check up in the Sith Temple, but had not lost time in talking with Anakin, just as he had promised.

Unfortunately, the conversation had not gone well. Padmé knew it because Anakin had come to visit her afterward, and had ranted about it for several moments.

From what she had gathered, Obi-Wan had not revealed to Anakin he knew they were married, but simply insisted that her husband was too close to Palpatine and that the Chancellor was not a person to be blindly trusted.

Anakin had refused to listen, and during his rant had accused everybody, Padmé, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, the Jedi to be unfair with the Chancellor and envious of his friendship with the older man, the only one who had always believed and supported him. Then he had stormed out of the apartment, leaving her alone and more concerned than ever.

Anakin had returned later, calmer and in control, and he had apologized for his previous outburst. He had been gentle, sweet, loving, the kind of husband he had used to be. Padmé had felt her love for him surge again, until the moment he had once again talked about how he would find a way to become so powerful that he would save her from death.

Padmé returned to the present, surprised to discover the night had already fallen. For how long had she stood there, lost in her musings?

Shaking her head, she left the bedroom and went to the living room, where Threepio was waiting.

“Miss Padmé, must I order your dinner? Will Master Anakin join you? The table is already arranged,” the droid asked, solicitous.

“No, thank you Threepio. I am not hungry. I will eat some fruit later.”

“Do you want me to switch on the music? The holonet?”

Padmé sighed. She knew Threepio was only trying to be useful, but sometime he was so tiring. If only he was able to understand there were moments he had to stay silent…

“No, thank you Threepio, it is not necessary. I just wish to sit here and think. Alone,” she said, looking pointedly at him.

“As you wish, Miss Padmé. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need something.”

Threepio walked away and she sighed again, unable to shake the sensation of imminent doom looming over her.

Padmé felt a ripple in her belly and then one of her children kicked, as if he were trying to make her focus on him instead of her fears. She smiled and gently pressed the spot where the tiny foot – or it had been a fist? – had pushed. She was gratified when the child reacted, kicking again.

The Sith healer had said she was very close to her term, and she could not wait to meet her twins—Luke and Leia, as she had decided to name them, since Anakin had showed little interest in the choice of possible names.

A sudden rumble made the floor shake and the transpirsteel of the windows rattled. Padmé’s heart started hammering in her chest as she walked as fast as she could to the window.

She scanned the familiar cityscape and gasped when she saw smoke and flames rise from the ruins of the Sith Temple.

What had happened? Was Coruscant under attack? And Obi-Wan? Was he all right?

Padmé went to her com unit and keyed Typho’s code.

“Senator Amidala?” he answered at once.

“Captain, what’s going on? The Sith Temple is burning.”

“I know, Senator. I have already contacted the city guards, but nobody knows what has happened. Someone says there has been an explosion, but they are not sure.”

“Keep me informed if you discover something,” Padmé ordered.

“Of course, Senator.”

She ended the communication and returned near the window, watching as the sky was slowly clouded by the thick smoke rising from what remained of the Sith Temple.

Padmé posed her hand against the transparent surface and murmured, “Please be well, Obi-Wan.”

She moved back to the divan and sat down, only to stand up again a few moments later, unable to stand still as time ticked slowly.

‘Will Anakin be more informed?’ she wondered. Probably yes. The Sith and the Jedi had been working very closely for years, and the Jedi would certainly be among the first ones to run to the Sith Temple in order to rescue the survivors.

Walking again to her com unit, Padmé keyed Anakin’s comlink code, waiting for interminable moments until a familiar voice answered.

“Yes?

It was not Anakin—it was Qui-Gon.

“Master Jinn? This is Senator Amidala. I was looking for Anakin.” A long silence followed her words. “Master Jinn? Are you still there?”

“Yes…yes, I am.” Qui-Gon’s voice sounded strange in her ears. “Where…where are you Senator?”

“I am at home. I saw the flames rise from the Sith Temple and wanted to know what happened…and if Master Kenobi was all right.”

Padmé heard some muffled sounds, as if Qui-Gon was talking with someone else and was keeping his hand over the comlink to prevent her from over hearing.

“Senator?” he finally answered.

“Yes?”

“With your permission, I am going to visit you now. There is… something…I must tell you.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Come when you wish, Master Jinn. I will be waiting.”

The communication was interrupted and Padmé found herself staring at the silent com unit, wondering about what had been said—and what had not.

A shiver ran along her back as the feeling of doom she had experienced earlier that evening returned tenfold.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 11

The room was small, its furniture minimal, some plush armchairs and a screen. There was no window and the silence was broken only by the breathing of the three persons sitting there.

Padmé was grateful for the arm Qui-Gon had wrapped around her shoulder, and for the presence of the Mon Calamari Healer Bant Eerin at her side. She felt supported, cared for, protected—as she desperately needed to get through this experience.

“We’ will begin we when ready you are, Padmé,” Qui-Gon said softly.

Padmé took a deep breath. She would never be ready to see what there was in the security tapes the Jedi thought it was important she saw. However, she needed to know what had happened to Anakin and Obi-Wan.

She needed to know why Qui-Gon Jinn was pale, distraught and seemed to have aged ten years in just a few hours. She needed to know why he had been unable to tell her anything, but ask her to come with him for there was something she had to see. She needed to know why the Senate building was now surrounded by Jedi knights and the whole Jedi Temple was awake and full of activity despite the fact it was night.

She took another deep breath and with the steadiest voice she could manage, said, “I am ready, Master Jinn.”

The lights went off and Qui-Gon’s arm tightened around her shoulders as the holovid was switched on and Chancellor Palpatine’s office appeared on the screen….

…. Jedi Masters Mace Windu, Agen Kolar, Kit Fisto and Saesee Tiin entered Palpatine’s office, four across, stopping just after the threshold.

“Master Windu. I take it General Grievous has been destroyed then. I must say, you're here sooner than expected,” Palpatine said from behind his desk, a deceptively suave expression on his face.

“In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor,” declared Master Windu, as he and the other Jedi ignited their lightsabres.

“Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?” Palpatine replied, his voice almost a growl.

“The Senate will decide your fate.”

“I am the Senate!” the Chancellor snarled, with anger.

“Not yet!” Mace Windu exclaimed.

Palpatine stood up, as the hilt of a lightsabre appeared in his hand. He ignited it, and a crimson blade sprang up.

The older man leapt away from behind his desk, “It's treason, then.”

Palpatine then attacked the four Jedi, vicious and unstoppable. Masters Kolar, Fisto and Tiin died quickly under his blows, but Mace Windu held his ground.

The two men, Jedi and Dark Lord fought their way down the hallway and into the main office area. Palpatine used the Force to slam Windu against the wall, but the Jedi recovered before the Chancellor could cut him down.

The fight continued and in the heat of battle, Master Windu cut the window behind the Chancellor's desk, crashing it away. The two men kept on fighting, teetering on the edge, as the cold night air entered the room.

In that moment Anakin Skywalker burst in the office and stopped cold, taking in the scene in front of his eyes.

Mace Windu had just disarmed Palpatine, and was pressing him against the floor and the wall near the window with the tip of his purple lightsabre.

“You are under arrest, My Lord,” the korum master said aloud.

“Anakin!” Palpatine whined, looking at the younger Jedi. “I told you it would come to this. I was right. The Jedi are taking over.”

“You old fool. The oppression of the Dark Lords will never return. Your plot to regain control of the Republic is over. You have lost,” Mace Windu replied, getting closer.

“No! No! You will die!” Palpatine screamed, his voice increasing in volume.

The Dark Lord raised his hands, and lightning bolts shot out. They were deflected by

the Jedi’s lightsabre and Palpatine was pushed back against the window sill.

“He is a traitor, Anakin!” the Chancellor screamed, looking at the younger man still standing by the door.

“He's the traitor. Stop him!” Windu replied.

“Come to your senses, boy. The Jedi are in revolt. They will betray you, just as they betrayed me! You are not one of them, Anakin. Don't let him kill me.”

Anakin shifted his weight, as his eyes darted from one man to the other, unsure.

“I am your pathway to power. I have the power to save the one you love. You must choose. You must stop him!” Palpatine said again, his voice now weaker.

“Don't listen to him, Anakin,” Mace Windu grounded out, his face contorted in the effort of resisting the blue bolts he was still invested with.

“Help me! Don't let him kill me. I can't hold on any longer…”

Mace Windu pushed the Dark Lord out to the edge of the ledge. As the Jedi moved closer, the bolts from Palpatine's hands began to arch back on him. The Chancellor's face started to twist and distort, becoming grotesque. His eyes became yellow as he struggled to intensify his powers.

“I can't ... I give up. Help me. I am weak ... I am too weak. Don't kill me. I give up. I'm dying. I can't hold on any longer….” Palpatine said, his voice apparently weak and exhausted.

“You Dark disease. I am going to end this once and for all!” Mace Windu exclaimed.

“You can't kill him, Master. He must stand trial!” Anakin shouted, finally leaving his trance-like state.

“He has too much control over the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive!” Master Windu protested.

“I am too weak. Don't kill me. Please…” Palpatine panted, his yellow eyes fixed on Anakin.

“It is not the Jedi way!” Anakin interjected, but Master Windu ignored him. He raised his ‘sabre over his head, ready to inflict the killing blow. “He must live!” The younger man added, desperate.

“Please don't, please don't . . .” Palpatine begged.

“I need him!” Anakin tried again, only to scream “NO!” when he saw the Jedi Master tense his muscles in preparation.

Mace Windu was about to strike down Palpatine, but before he could complete the gesture, Anakin stepped in, and cut his sword arm with his lightsabre.

As the Jedi master stared at his amputated arm in shock, the Dark Lord sprang to life, showing his weakened state had been only a ruse. He invested the powerless man with the full force of his blue lightening, and flung him out the window, where he fell down in the Coruscant heavy traffic.

“Power! Unlimited power!” Palpatine screamed, as he smirked in triumph.

Anakin watched in horror as the scene unfolded, and fell to sit, letting go of the hilt of his lightsabre. “What have I done?” he moaned in desperation.

“You are fulfilling your destiny, Anakin,” Palpatine answered, his voice suave, persuading. “Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force.”

“I will do whatever you ask,” the young man whispered.

“Good.”

“Just help me save Padme's life. I can't live without her. I won't let her die. I want the power to stop death,” Anakin all but begged.

“To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret,” the Dark Lord replied, walking closer.

Anakin slid off his seat to kneel before Palpatine. “I pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Dark Lords,” he said, bowing his head in submission.

Palpatine’s grotesque face broadened into a smile of pure, malicious triumph. “Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Dark Lord you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth . . . Vader.”

“Thank you, my Master,” Anakin murmured.

“Rise, Darth Vader,” Palpatine then commanded and moved over to his desk, putting on a dark cloak to conceal his deformed face.

“Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us, along with all the Senators, and the Sith will help them.”

“I agree. The Jedi's next move will be against the Senate.”

“Every single Jedi, including your friend Qui-Gon Jinn, is now an enemy of the Republic. You understand that, don't you?”

“I understand, Master.”

“We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless-”

“And so are the Sith!” a new voice thundered from the back of the room.

Palpatine and Anakin turned around, as Obi-Wan Kenobi approached them, his yellow lightsabre ignited.

“Kill him, Lord Vader! Now!” Palpatine ordered, and Anakin did not hesitate.

“Yes, Master,” he said, switching on his ‘sabre and leaping toward the Sith master.

Obi-Wan stepped back, avoiding a blow meant to cut him vertically and urged, “Don’t do this, Skywalker. I am not the enemy—Palpatine is! Help me to defeat him…it is not too late, you

can still save yourself…”

Anakin paid no mind to him and slashed the Sith again. Obi-Wan parried the attack and tried again.

“Think of Qui-Gon, Anakin! He loves you as a father…and what about Padmé?”

“Leave her out of this!” Anakin roared, his eyes turning yellow as the dark side coursed in him.

“She loves you Anakin! Have you stopped to think what your turning would you to her?”

“I am thinking of her,” Anakin growled. “I am doing this for her! All of this is for her!”

“But did you ask her if she wanted it?” Obi-Wan hissed, deflecting another hard blow.

“Leave her out of this! I know what it is best for her!”

A ferocious battle followed. Obi-Wan, who had been only on the defensive in the beginning, became more aggressive. The two opponents went back and forth around the room, attacking and retreating, leaping and jumping, pivoting and sidestepping as the two blades clashed with incredible speed and Palpatine laughed maniacally.

The Dark Lord’s laugh, however, ended suddenly when Obi-Wan took advantage of one of Anakin’s impulsive moves to break through his guard and plunge his blade deep in the younger man’s chest.

A shocked expression crossed Anakin’s face for a second, then he slumped to the ground without life.

Obi-Wan watched him, eyes full of regret, before his gaze hardened as he faced Palpatine.

“You are under arrest, Chancellor. Or should I call you Darth Sidious?”

The Dark Lord’s face contorted in a grimace of pure evil. “You miserable Sith, you have ruined everything! But you will pay for this!” Fast as lighting, Palpatine called a comlink to his hand with the Force and before Obi-Wan could do something, he switched it on and said, “Commander Cody? Execute Order 67! NOW!”

“What have you done?” Obi-Wan asked, advancing toward Sidious, lightsabre raised in an offensive stance.

The Dark Lord invested him with his blue bolts of energy. “I have put an end to the existence of that pathetic order of yours! I have ordered the immediate destruction of the Sith Temple and of every Sith engaged in combat on the front lines!” Palpatine laughed, baring his yellow, rotten teeth. “I will deal with the Jedi as soon as I am done with you!”

“I will not allow it, Sidious!” Obi-Wan gritted his teeth, angling his blade, so that it deflected the blue bolts against Palpatine. But the Dark Lord had learned his lesson with Mace Windu, and leapt away, landing behind the Sith and attacking him again.

“Arghh!” Obi-Wan screamed as he was invested by a firing pain in his back.

“Die, Sith, die!” Darth Sidious snarled as the bolts grew more powerful.

Obi-Wan fell to his knees, his hands crawling at the floor as he tried to escape. His entire body was on fire, the agony zipping along every nerve. He knew he would not last long, and began to hope the end would be quick.

The attack brusquely ended, and he slumped to the ground, unable to do anything but pant.

Darth Sidious walked closer, wanting to watch his enemy’s face as he gave him the killing blow, but a sudden noise distracted him. He whirled around and found himself facing Qui-Gon Jinn and Yoda.

“Master Yoda, Master Jinn, how nice to join us. I believe you know Master Kenobi well.”

Qui-Gon gave a concerned look at his friend, lying on the floor, then set his face in a determined expression, as he and Yoda advanced toward Palpatine, their green blades shining in the night.

Darth Sidious ignited his own weapon and attached the two Jedi masters.

The Dark Lord was strong, the dark side making him powerful and able to keep at bay two opponents as skilled and different in their fighting styles as the tall Qui-Gon and the diminutive Yoda. But even him, in all his power, was not able to turn around quickly enough to intercept the flying lightsabre Obi-Wan threw against him with his last ounce of strength. The yellow blade managed only to graze Palpatine’s side, but it was enough to break his concentration and allow Qui-Gon to behead him.

The Dark Lord’s headless body collapsed, and Qui-Gon ran to where Obi-Wan was lying, kneeling down to check his pulse.

“He needs the healers,” the Jedi master said, pulling off his comlink. “We also must summon more knights here. We need to take control of the Senate before the news of Palpatine’s death becomes public.”

“Senator Organa you should also contact, very helpful he will be,” Yoda instructed, as he hobbled around the room, checking the other fallen Jedi. An expression of deep sadness washed over his face as he stopped by Anakin’s body.

Qui-Gon watched him and a whispered, “Master?”, so unusual for a man of his size left his lips.

“Joined the Force, young Skywalker has.”

An look of absolute horror crossed Qui-Gon Jinn’s face before a loud rumble made his head turn around to look at the cityscape…

The light returned to flood the small room as the screen went blank. Silence reigned for a long time, as Padmé kept on staring in front of her, trying to cope with what she had seen.

Palpatine had been a Dark Lord. Anakin had joined him, cut Master Windu’s arm, planned to destroy the Jedi Order, attacked Obi-Wan…Obi-Wan had killed Anakin…and had been wounded by Palpatine…Qui-Gon had beheaded the Chancellor…the Sith Temple had been destroyed…her husband had been killed and her children would be fatherless…

Padmé was aware of voices talking near her, of hands gently touching her, but she did not know how to respond to them. Her eyes kept on staring in front of her, until the moment she felt something cold being pressed against her neck and a blessed oblivion enveloped her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 12

When Padmé woke up, it took her some time to understand where she was. The unknown room was airy, full of light, but also impersonal and aseptic, like a hospital.

A hospital…the twins!

Padmé’s hands ran to where her swollen abdomen should have been and met only air. Her belly was flat, empty.

Her heart started running as her breath got more laboured and panic invaded her. What had happened? Where were her children?

Padmé gritted her teeth and sat on the mattress, waiting until the room stopped spinning before posing her bare feet on the pavement.

She was about to stand when the door slide open and Qui-Gon entered, followed by Healer Eerin.

“Senator!” they said in unison, rushing at her side and obliging her to lie down again.

“Where are my children?” Padmé not bothering to hide her fear. “Are they all right?”

“Yes, they are,” answered Qui-Gon. “They are sleeping in the nursery, but Healer Eerin can bring them here if you wish.”

“Yes, yes, please. I need to see them,” Padmé said urgently, needing to ascertain her children were really well.

Qui-Gon and the healer exchanged a look, then the Mon Calamari walked away.

The Jedi master took a chair from a corner, pulled it close to the bed, and sat down. “How do you feel, Padmé?”

“Scared…and sore,” she raised her eyes to meet his own. “What happened?”

“You fell in shock after watching the security tapes with the events that occurred in Palpatine’s office. Your condition was affecting the babies, so you were immediately operated on. Do you remember the records we showed you?”

“Yes…even if I wish I could forget,” Padmé murmured. She closed her eyes briefly, fighting back her tears. “How is Obi-Wan?”

“He is in the intensive care unit. He has fallen into a coma, Padmé. Palpatine’s blue bolts have caused an energetic overload in his nervous system. Some of his nerves have been damaged.”

“How…how badly?”

“The healers do not know yet. He could recover completely…or be paralyzed…or blind…they don’t know,” Qui-Gon hung his head.

Padmé closed her eyes again, trying to block out the reality. Her husband was dead, her most trusted friend was in a coma, and the Republic was without a leader as the war still raged on.

“Who is controlling the Senate?” she asked, without opening her eyes.

“The Jedi Council, but we are already working to organize new elections—as soon as the war has ended, that’s it. At the moment we are still negotiating the surrender of the last Separatists leaders.”

Padmé nodded. “Yes, that’s good…that’s the right way. Diplomacy, not violence. I never understood why Palpatine chose to continue the war after Dooku’s death.”

Qui-Gon smiled bitterly. “Because the war was an elaborate trap for the Jedi and Sith orders.”

“What!” Padmé’s eyes snapped open.

“Palpatine and his apprentice Dooku planned everything to give the Chancellor an excuse to centre all the power in his hands, but also to oblige the two orders to stretch their numbers across the galaxy. It not only caused the death of many knights, but also kept them busy, unable to see what was happening under their very nose. And also…” Qui-Gon took a deep breath, “…it created situations in which the knights found themselves alone and surrounded by clone troops, not knowing the clones had been programmed to revolt against them at Palpatine’s command. Do you remember? He called it Order 67.”

Padmé nodded slowly.

“Order 67 meant the Clone troopers had to kill every single Sith Knight alive. There was a similar command, Order 66, for the Jedi.”

Her eyes widened in horror, as she hoped she had misunderstood.

“The clones have bombed and attacked the Temple here on Coruscant and revolted against their Sith commanders all over the Galaxy. It has been a slaughter,” Qui-Gon looked away, as pain washed over his stern features.

“A slaughter?” Padmé repeated.

“We have been able to save only ten younglings…their master must have sensed something, for he hid them in the basement. All the other Sith in the Temple have been killed, and so were the ones on the battlefields. We know for the clones reported the success of their mission to Palpatine’s com unit…” Qui-Gon swallowed hard and rubbed his beard. “Obi-Wan…Obi-Wan is the only Sith still alive…and I don’t know how I will be able to tell him.”

Padmé watched devastated as the tall master buried his face in his hands, and despite all of her pain, her heart went to him. To this proud, gentle man who had seen the boy he had raised like a son betray everything he had been taught, before being killed by his best friend--

And she could not ignore that she had her share of guilt in this tragedy.

Padmé’s hand reached out to grasp one of Qui-Gon’s, giving and receiving comfort, until the moment the door slid open and Healer Eerin entered pushing a double cradle.

She sat up at once, her soreness forgotten and watched in wonder at her children. They were beautiful, perfect. They were sleeping and she did not dare to wake them, so her desire to hold them would have to wait a little longer. For the moment she was content to observe and learn each detail of their tiny faces and hands.

“The one with the darker hair is a girl-” the Mon Calamari healer whispered.

“Leia, her name is Leia,” Padmé interjected.

“-and the blonde one is a boy.”

“He is Luke.”

“’Light’ and ‘Hope’ in Nubian,” Qui-Gon mused aloud, and she nodded.

“Yes. I just hope they will be auspicious, for them and the Republic they were born into.”

Qui-Gon and the healer could not help but approve wholeheartedly.

§

Obi-Wan regained consciousness twenty days after his battle with Anakin and Palpatine, and the first person he saw was Padmé, who had been in that room almost all of her free time in the past weeks.

Their eyes met, hers moist with tears of joy, his full of confusion and then, after his memory returned, of regret.

“I…am sorry,” he croaked out.

Padmé stood up and poured some water from a bottle on the bedside table, holding his head up as he swallowed. She was terribly moved by the fact he was not thinking of himself, asking about his condition, but focusing only on her. He was always so selfless…

“I am sorry,” Obi-Wan repeated. “I could not save him…”

There was no need to explain who “him” was.

“I know,” Padmé murmured. “I have seen… the security tapes of Palpatine’s office.”

“Forgive me…” Obi-Wan whispered, his blue-grey eyes fixed in her brown ones.

“There is nothing to be forgiven. You did your duty. It is I that must beg you forgiveness. Had I listened to your words after Geonosis, had I not allowed Anakin to break the rules for me, maybe this would have not happened.”

Padmé was almost surprised by how strong her voice sounded. She had been rehearsing that speech in her mind for days, but she had not been sure she would be able to say it with Obi-Wan’s solemn eyes looking at her.

“Maybe. We will never know,” he commented, before taking a deep breath. “Is Darth Sidious dead?”

Darth Sidious? Oh, yes, Palpatine.

“Yes, he is. Master Jinn killed him.”

“Good. And your children?” Obi-Wan tilted his head to indicate her flat stomach.

Padmé smiled. “They are well; a boy and a girl. Luke and Leia.”

Obi-Wan smiled faintly. “Hope and light. How appropriate, now that the Dark Lords have been destroyed.” Padmé just nodded. “Maybe I will now be able to take a long pause from active duty and teach to the Padawans,” he whispered, his voice growing sleepy.

Padmé suffocated a sob as she watched his head loll on the side.

Oh sweet stars! What would Obi-Wan do when he was told there was no one left him to teach but ten infants?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 13

“No, no, and no! I won’t do it,” Padmé emphasized her words with a quick swept of her hand, and glared at the other people in her living room.

“Don’t be so precipitous, Padmé,” Bail Organa said, rubbing his well trimmed goatee.

“I am not! I have pondered this, but I can’t accept it. My children need my attention and, more importantly, I am not the right person.”

“More than two thirds of the Senate think you are,” Qui-Gon commented quietly. “And even those who have not named you as their first choice, have included you in their short list.”

“Perfect to be a Chancellor, you are,” Master Yoda added his voice to the other’s, tapping the floor with his gimer stick.

Padmé stood up and started pacing, trying to sort out her feelings. What they were asking was too much for her. She had just lost her husband, had two newborns to raise alone, and she was mentally and emotionally exhausted. She did not wish to become Supreme Chancellor; in fact she was even considering resigning from her position as Senator of Naboo and leaving Coruscant for good.

“Think about it, Padmé!” Bail tried again, “The Republic, the Senate need cohesion. We need a Chancellor as well supported as possible and backed by the Jedi-- you are the only one with these requirements.”

Padmé stopped pacing and turned to stare at the others, her eyes full of torment. “How can I accept such an office when it was all my fault that Palpatine managed to land it thirteen years ago? It was my vote against Finis Valorum’s leadership that opened the way to his raise to power!”

“You might have taken Valorum down,” Qui-Gon said reasonably, “but it was the Senate – the Senate he had corrupted or otherwise influenced – that elected Palpatine. Had you not voted against Valorum, he would have found another way to grab the power. After all, the new elections would have been held two years later.”

“Yes, Master Jinn is right, Padmé,” Bail commented. “It was not your responsibility. It is not important, for it has been proved that Palpatine, acting as Darth Sidious, was behind the Trade Federation blockade too. Much more important is the way you opposed the Military Creation Act, how you questioned the increasing power Palpatine was gathering during the war and how you kept on pressing for a diplomatic solution after Dooku was killed. This is what really matters now.”

“You were with me in the Loyalist Party, Bail. Why don’t you take the position of Chancellor? I am sure you would to a terrific job.”

Bail smiled, “Thanks for your trust, but the Senate doesn’t want me—they want you. They think you are strong, for you have demonstrated to be ready to fight for your beliefs.”

Padmé signed. Bail was right. She too was aware on the Senate’s opinion, and her dream of a quieter life was being eroded by the harsh reality. She was the right person to take hold of the Republic’s reins in such delicate moment. She had all the right connections and support, she could not deny it even if she wanted to.

She had always done what she thought was right for Naboo and the Republic, and now he knew the right thing to do was to accept the office and become Supreme Chancellor. For the good of the galaxy and her children that would live in it .

Padmé took a deep, steadying breath, then turned to Bail. “Will you accept the position of my Chief Advisor?”

The Alderaan Viceroy straightened. “Of course, Padmé. It will be my pleasure and my honour to be at your side and help you as much as I can.”

Padmé nodded and faced the two Jedi masters. “Master Yoda, Master Jinn, I accept the office.”

Qui-Gon smiled as Yoda’s ears perked up. “Very wise this is, Senator.”

There was a moment of silence, during which Padmé recited a brief prayer asking for wisdom and guidance, then she asked, “So what we do now? Shall we call an extraordinary Senate meeting?”

“Yes, yes, we will do that, but first…” Bail hesitated and Qui-Gon encouraged him with a nod, “…but first there is something…personal…we need to discuss.”

Padmé arched an eyebrow. “Personal?”

“We need to talk about your children…and your lack of husband.”

She looked at him confused. “I don’t think I understand.”

Bail turned to look at Qui-Gon, clearly embarrassed, and the Jedi master took charge of the conversation.

“Senator, how long do you think it will pass before the press discovers you are a single mother?”

“First of all, I am a widow. Secondly, there is nothing wrong in being a single mother.”

“What you say is right, of course, but your marriage with Anakin must remain a secret, at least in the public opinion.”

“Why? Because he was a Jedi?”

“No,” Qui-Gon shook his head sadly. “Because it is well-known he was Palpatine’s protégé. We cannot allow the press to link you to Anakin and Palpatine.”

Padmé nodded, it sounded reasonable. “So, what do you suggest we do?”

“Well, since I suppose you do not intend to give Luke and Leia to the Jedi Temple for training…” She emphatically shook her head at Qui-Gon’s implicit question, “then the other logical option is that you get married before you are officially invested of the Chancellor office.”

“What!” Padmé almost sputtered. They wanted her to get married for political reasons? It was unconceivable. She would have laughed had not the other three been so serious.

“We think you should marry, Padmé,” explained Qui-Gon, “with a man able to support you in your new office, with an impeccable reputation and credentials, and willing to recognize your children as his own.”

Padmé all but snorted. “Yes, of course. And I suppose you have already found this perfect man,” she commented sarcastically.

“Yes, we have. Master Kenobi is willing to marry you and claim Luke and Leia as his children.”

Padmé had to force her mouth to stay close and not to open in stunned surprise. Obi-Wan…Obi-Wan was willing to marry her?

“I-I…Master Kenobi cannot marry me. The Sith are forbidden to marry politicians,” she blurted out.

Qui-Gon’s face paled as he whispered, “As much as it pains me, there is no longer a Sith Order. Obi-Wan is the last one of his kind, and thus he is free from any obligation but his duty to the Republic.”

Padmé swallowed. ‘Duty to the Republic’. Was it all that remained to Obi-Wan? Was he willing to marry her only out of duty or was there something else?

“An alliance with The Negotiator would be a terrific coup for you, Padmé. He is respected by everyone, Separatists included, and the public opinion has been moved by the fate befallen to the Sith Order,” Bail commented.

Padmé sighed. “Does Obi-Wan really want to do this?”

“Yes, he does.”

“Then I can say I agree with his “proposal”. But first I need to talk with him in private. Is he still residing at the Jedi Temple?”

“Yes,” answered Qui-Gon. “He is still undergoing physical therapy for his legs. He is also teaching a couple of classes.”

Padmé nodded, her eyes full of gratitude. Blessed Jedi! They had given Obi-Wan something to do, something to keep him busy and prevent him from spending all his time thinking of all he had lost… she swallowed hard. She had not seen him since he had regained consciousness for, like a coward, she had not wanted to be the one to tell him the Sith Order was no longer. She had not wanted to look at his expressive eyes when he would learn the truth, for she knew all of his heartbreaking pain would be reflected there. But now it was really time she went to visit him, to discuss their “marriage” and to give him at least an ounce of the support he had given her when she had needed it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 14

Padmé found Obi-Wan in the Jedi Temple gardens, when she went to visit him the next day. He was kneeling in the soft grass under a tree, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. He seemed to be in deep meditation, thus she moved to a nearby stone bench as silently as she could, not wanting to disturb him.

She was close enough to observe him, and her heart constricted. He was thinner and paler than the last time she had seen him and more silver had crept into the hair by his temples, and the furrow on his brow was deeper.

The pain of his loss was etched deeply in his features, and Padmé dreaded the moment he would open his eyes, afraid to find them dull or devoid of life.

She could not even imagine what he had gone through. She had lost her husband, but Obi-Wan had lost everything. His home, his friends, his way of living. He was now the last of the Sith, for Qui-Gon had informed her he had given the surviving children back to their families, or transferred them to the Jedi when it had been impossible to track down their parents.

Finally Obi-Wan resurfaced from his meditation, and when his eyes met hers, she was relieved to see they still sparkled with his inner self.

“Senator Amidala,” he greeted her with a bow of his head.

“Obi-Wan, please, don’t call me so. We have passed through many things together to be so formal.”

He nodded, “Yes, Padmé.” He put his hands flat on the ground and used his arms to help himself back to his feet. He then retrieved his cane from where he had posed it against the tree trunk, and limped to the stone bench she was sitting on. He lowered himself at her side and looked calmly at her.

There was a moment of silence before she asked, “How are your legs doing?”

Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders. “They lack coordination and sometimes they buckle under my weight, but at least they allow me to walk around without needing a hoverchair.”

“What do the healers say? Will they heal?”

“They don’t know. There is no reference about similar cases in the archives. They are optimistic since there has been some progresses, but they cannot say if they will continue to improve.”

“I am sorry,” she murmured.

“Why? It is not your fault.”

Padmé looked at him intently. “I am sorry about everything. About lying to you years ago; about not listening to you after Geonosis; about the end of the Sith Order; about not having been near you when you learned the truth…you-you are a wonderful man, Obi-Wan, and deserved much more than life gave you,” she concluded in a rush, her emotions having the upper hand over her control.

Obi-Wan sighed deeply as his eyes flashed. “Thank you for caring. It means a lot to me. I was afraid you would not want to be near me again after I had killed Anakin.”

Padmé swallowed hard and briefly lowered her head to look at her hands. “You did what you had to do, and by what Qui-Gon and Yoda explained me, you did not kill Anakin, but a man called Darth Vader. Anakin was already dead by then.”

Obi-Wan nodded, but said nothing. Silence fell on them, but it was not uneasy.

“Obi-Wan, may I ask you something?” Padmé said after a while.

“Of course.”

“Why are you willing to marry me and recognize my children as your own? It is just because you feel it is your duty to the Republic?”

Obi-Wan looked at her for a long while, his blue-grey eyes intent. “Partly. I believe you are the right person to lead the Senate during these difficult times, so it is my duty as Sith Master to help you to do your job at your best. But I also thought that since it is important you marry, you might have preferred do it with someone you know and, I hope, are comfortable with rather than with a stranger. Of course I will never pretend there is more than friendship between us, and I am ready to step aside should you have someone else in mind.”

Padmé nodded, then blurted out, caught by an impulse, “And what if I should want more than friendship?”

Obi-Wan sucked on his breath and his eyes turned smoky grey. “Do you really need to ask?” He murmured throatily, “I thought you knew I never stopped loving you.”

Padmé lowered her eyes, unable to stand his hot gaze. What had possessed her to ask him something like that? Was she fishing for reassurances?

“I-I… Obi-Wan, I am touched by your words, but I don’t want…to raise false hopes in you.” She finally said, meeting his eyes again. “I care deeply for you, but I cannot offer anything more than friendship just now. I loved Anakin and I am mourning the death of the young man that stepped into my life three years ago. I need time to recover, to sort out my feelings, to think of my children, to-”

Obi-Wan stopped her flood of words posing two fingers over her lips. “Peace, Padmé, you don’t have to justify yourself. As I told before, I am willing to stay by your side as your friend, for the rest of my life if necessary. I don’t want anything else but to see you and your children happy, safe and satisfied. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Her eyes blurred at his total unselfishness and generosity. She did not deserve him—she never had. But she knew she was too selfish to let him go. She would accept his offer and become his wife and then, maybe, when the time was right, she would be able to give him the happiness he so deserved.

§

Padmé and Obi-Wan married two days later, inside the Jedi Temple, with Bail Organa celebrating it as Qui-Gon and Yoda posed as witnesses. It was decided to backdate the marriage to three days before the twins’ birth, so that Luke and Leia would be considered to have been born in wedlock. Watching the way Obi-Wan looked at her children, Padmé felt certain he would prove to be a wonderful father, stern but doting, and the perfect man to teach them how to use the Force. Oh, yes, because Padmé had decided that her children, their children, would one day be two Sith like their father. It had been her wedding gift to her husband to be, one that had brought tears of gratitude in his eyes.

As for herself, Padmé was emotionally conflicted. On one hand, she was happy to be Obi-Wan’s wife, on the other she was saddened by the circumstances that had led to her marriage. She could not ignore that if she was married to her first love it was because her other love, her Anakin, was dead.

Padmé could not shake her feeling of guilt. If she had not been so stubborn, if she had not allowed Anakin to get so close to her that his attachment became obsessive and unhealthy, then, maybe, he would still be alive. Or maybe Palpatine would have found another way to corrupt him; after all he had been interested in Anakin since he was a child.

“Padmé?” Bail Organa’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Yes?”

“Are you ready for tomorrow’s ceremony?”

“As I could ever be,” she said with a nervous smile.

“Don’t worry too much. I know you will do a wonderful job.”

“I hope so, Bail, I really hope so. The stakes are too high to allow myself to fail,” Padmé commented, looking out of the window at the Senate Arena.

§

The day after his marriage Obi-Wan watched as Padmè accepted the Office of Supreme Chancellor of The Galactic Republic from the Jedi Council in front of the Senate.

A thunderous applause exploded as she formulated her vows of loyalty to the Republic and promised to govern with honesty, justice and democracy.

Then her aide restored the order inside the enormous dome, as Supreme Chancellor Padmé Amidala Kenobi addressed the congress for the first time, introducing the guideline of her government.

Obi-Wan only half-listened to her speech, for he had already heard it the previous day. Instead he concentrated on studying the Senator’s reactions to the words being said.

Many of the Senators, those closer to Palpatine, had been replaced and he had had an active role in the negotiations with the various star systems’ local rulers. He was pretty sure they had purged the Senate from its most corrupted members, but he planned to keep all of them under control. It was his duty, as the soon-to-be-appointed Chief of the Intelligence, but he would have done so even without an official role.

Obi-Wan loved the Republic as much as he had loved the Sith Order and loved his wife.

His wife. A smile spread on his bearded face and, for the first time in ages, it reached his eyes. He still had to get used to the notion Padmé was his wife. It was a dream became reality, even if the circumstances behind the wedding were far from happy.

The destruction of the Sith Order weighed on his heart and probably would for the rest of his life. It seemed almost inconceivable that one thousand years of traditions and faithful service to the Republic had been blown away in one night. Yet, it had happened.

Obi-Wan remembered the horror he had felt when he had walked among the still smoking ruins of the Temple and felt the echo of the men, the women and the children that had died there. His damaged legs had started shaking uncontrollably and had crumbled to the ground, face down in the ashes, unable to stand up again. Force only knew how long he would have remained there if Qui-Gon had not come to search for him.

Obi-Wan smiled as he thought of the Jedi master—the best friend a man could ask for. Qui-Gon had been supportive the whole time, despite the fact that he too had suffered greatly. It was thanks to their shared meditations that Obi-Wan had been able to regain some peace and was now able to look at the future with a certain degree of optimism.

He now had a wife and two children to love and care for, and he looked forward to doing it. One day…one day in a distant future he would have to tell Luke and Leia about their real father, but he was not worried about it. He was confident that when the time came, Padmé and he would be able to explain why they had arrived at that point.

Obi-Wan did not really feel guilty about having killed Anakin Skywalker. Yes, he had been saddened by the loss of such a promising young man, but he had done his duty. He had killed a Dark Lord—and would do it again.

He was only sorry for the pain this had caused Padmé and Qui-Gon. If only he had realized sooner who Palpatine really was. If only he and Qui-Gon had taken literally what Dooku had said to his former apprentice when he had held the Jedi master captive on Geonosis about the Republic being under the control of Darth Sidious. If only-

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and released his regrets into the Force. It was useless to dwell in the past. He had to look only forward: to his job, to raising Luke and Leia to be the next generation of Sith, to the teaching position given him in the Jedi Temple and, of course, to being near Padmé for the rest of their lives. For now that he had her, he would never let her go again. He would not be able to bear it.

Another, longer applause made the Senate dome almost tremble and Obi-Wan returned to the present, adding to the clapping, as Padmé turned in his direction, searching for him among the crowd until their eyes met and locked and only the two of them existed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an universe where Jedi and Sith coexist as rival orders, a queen falls in love with her Sith Knight rescuer. But this is not a fairy tale, and the happy end will arrive only at the end of a long, and sad road.

Chapter 15

Padmé keyed the code of hers and Obi-Wan’s apartment and slipped inside, trying to be as silent as possible. It was well past midnight and the large flat was enveloped by darkness but for the moonlight filtering inside from the windows in the large circular living room.

Everyone seemed to be asleep, her maids and Threepio included. It was not surprising given the late hour. The meeting with the committee she had created to revise and rewrite the constitution, and made sure another Palpatine-like tyranny would not arise again, had lasted far longer than predicted.

She was exhausted but satisfied about how things were progressing, and looked forward to sleeping well into the morning, for it was a vacation day.

Padmé posed her briefcase on a tall table near the door and tiptoed to the twins’ room, wishing to see them before collapsing on her bed.

However part of her tiredness disappeared when she found the two cradles empty. Frowning slightly she wondered if Miarté, the nurse, had taken them to her room, as she sometimes did when the little ones were difficult to settle. Then she remembered Miarté was on vacation for a couple of days—which meant there was only another place where Luke and Leia could be.

Smiling gently, Padmé walked to Obi-Wan’s bedroom and found her guess confirmed when she noticed the door had been left open.

She peered inside and what she saw made her heart flip-flop in her chest.

Her husband was sleeping in the middle of his large bed, and had Luke and Leia sprawled atop his bare chest, cradled there by his protective arms. The twins were asleep, their little bodies rising and falling with each of Obi-Wan’s breaths.

Moving silently, she approached the bed and looked down. She did not know why the twins were there instead of in their room, but it hardly mattered, for she could see no signs of distress on their tiny faces.

Padmé stood there, looking at the three most important people of her life, enjoying that serene and tender scene. She studied Obi-Wan’s face, taking advantage of the rare opportunity to observe – admire, really –him while he was not aware of her perusing.

He looked fine, the dark circles he had sported under his eyes for months gone. His face was relaxed, his mouth slightly open and the lock of hair fallen over his brow gave him a boyish look.

Padmé had press her fingernails into her palms to prevent herself from reaching out and brushing back the soft-looking lock. And it was not the only thing she wished to do. She wanted to stroke his beard and see if it was as soft as it looked, she wanted to comb the hair on his chest, before letting her hand slide down his belly and…her cheeks flushed flaming red.

What was she thinking?

“It is obvious,” a sarcastic voice said inside her. “You want him.”

Yes, she thought, she wanted Obi-Wan, but it was much more than a matter of sex. She wanted his love.

No, that was not right. She already had his love, she had always had it, and even if they had not talked about it since before their marriage, Padmé knew Obi-Wan wished to make their marriage a real one.

How many times, in the seven months they had lived together, she had seen the longing in his eyes when he thought she was not noticing? How many times had his hand stopped mid-air as he reached to touch her?

Obi-Wan wanted her, there was no doubt about it. But was she ready to give him what he wanted? What he deserved?

They had gotten closer during the past months. Living and working together, spending sleepless nights when the twins kept on crying had stirred in her powerful emotions.

Little by little all the feelings she had experienced thirteen, almost fourteen years before had returned. She had remembered all the things she had loved in young Obi-Wan as she had come to discover new traits of his personality.

She now knew Obi-Wan was grumpy in the morning and that, given the chance, he liked to sleep late, something she found strange in such a hard, disciplined man. She knew he preferred their old fashioned bathtub to the hyper-technologic sonic shower. He was able to spend hours in the warm water reading one of his beloved books, which made her grateful the house had two more ‘freshers! And she knew that, as most military men, he was very tidy and meticulous, so much so that she could not leave something out of place before he arrived to put it away.

Padmé now knew all of this, the good and bad, and it made her love Obi-Wan even more.

“Yes, I love you,” she whispered, looking down at him. He had to be very soundly asleep not to hear her. “I love you Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Again. Still. It did not really matter.

Padmé gave her husband a final, loving look, then backed toward the door. As she walked to her bedroom, she felt like a burden had been taken off her shoulders.

She had finally accepted the truth and learned to live with it. While she would never forget Anakin and the happiness he had given her, and while she would never forgive herself for having, albeit unwillingly, set him on the road to perdition, she was now able to admit she loved Obi-Wan and had probably never stopped doing so.

Now the time had come to tell and show him it.

§

Several nights later Padmé switched on her bedside table lamp with a frustrated sigh. No matter how she had tried, there was no way to fall asleep as tense as she was. She needed to first relax—and she had a good idea of how accomplish it.

Getting up, she donned a robe over her nightgown, grabbed a large towel from the wardrobe, and left her bedroom and the apartment, taking the lift to their private gardens.

Built to look like a great greenhouse, the upper floor of the condo, hosted a seemingly wild environment, with trees, bushes, flowers, grass and an artificial pond large and deep enough to allow swimming. The water was always warm, just what she needed to relax and get sleepy.

Arriving at the right floor, Padmé walked into the garden, using the light coming from the transparisteel roof to follow the gravel covered path to the pond.

Once there she shed her clothes, let them fall near the shore alongside the towel, and stepped into the pond, until she was neck deep in the tepid water.

Padmé swam for awhile, then settled near the shore, where she could sit and still enjoy the soothing massage of the water.

Little by little her tension stared to unravel, even if her mind insisted mulling over the cause of such condition.

Obi-Wan.

Oh, he had done absolutely nothing wrong. He had been his usual, thoughtful self. The problem lay mostly with her and her inability to take a decisive step to transform their marriage in a real one.

It should have been easy to take him aside and tell him, “I love you, Obi-Wan”. Instead something always went wrong every time she mustered her courage. Her or his comlink would beep, one of the twins would start crying, Threepio would come in asking some question, completely unaware of what he had interrupted.

Padmé had even considered sneaking inside Obi-Wan’s chambers and bed at night, but she was not a seductress, and she did not want to give the impression she just wanted sex. Lovemaking, if it arrived, would come only later, after her feelings would be revealed.

Padmé was so taken by her musings she was almost startled when the sound of someone walking on the gravel reached her ears. The steps were coming closer and she realized there was no time to swim to the opposite side of the pond and reach for the towel or her clothes before the newcomer was revealed to her. She just hoped it was not Captain Typho or another security officer. Maybe it was just Dormé, she often suffered from insomnia…

The noise came even closer and Obi-Wan’s figure left the vegetation to step into the small clearing surrounding the pond, wearing a blue bathrobe.

He stopped cold when he saw her, a stunned expression on his handsome face.

“Padmé…I was not expecting to find you here…I was lost in thought and I did not sense you…,” he said, as his sharp eyes noticing her discarded nightgown and robe. “I will leave you now.”

He turned around to walk away, but Padmé was quicker. She stood up and called, “Don’t go, Obi-Wan!”

He slowly faced her again and swallowed hard as he stared at her.

Padmé bit her lower lip as his eyes roamed over body, which was different, more full and curvy than probably he remembered in his memories. It was the body of a woman who had given birth, not a girl. Obi-Wan’s eyes did not know where to look first and he seemed to want to drink in all of her at the same time.

Padmé stood still under his scrutinizing glance, without any shame or embarrassment but her heart was hammering in her chest. She, too, stared at Obi-Wan, observing his reaction to her.

He was not indifferent to her, not indifferent at all. His beautiful blue-grey eyes were dilated, his nostrils were flaring, his jaw was tense and his breath was hurried.

They stayed still for what seemed an eternity, then Obi-Wan reached out his arm. He did not say a single word, but simply waited for her to swim across the pond, leave the water and take his hand.

When she was in front of him, he unfolded the towel he had picked up from the grass and wrapped it around Padmé, drying her body with strong but gentle strokes, his burning eyes never leaving hers. When she was dry, he tied the towel around her and bent down, sweeping her into his arms, walking then out of the gardens.

Padmé was amazed by his behaviour, by his intensity and by his continued silence, and tried to break his composure, grabbing his head and kissing him on the mouth.

His reaction was immediate; he stopped walking, opened his lips and kissed her back with a barely controlled urge, making her understand he had not acted till that moment for fear he was going to lose his control and take her there and now, on the hard ground.

She would not have really minded it, so great was her need, but she appreciated his desire for privacy.

Obi-Wan let go of her lips and resumed his walk with a much faster pace, as she snuggled more against his chest…

§

Obi-Wan took her to her bedroom. Once there, he locked the door using the Force and, always balancing Padmé in his arms, he walked to the middle of the chamber and put her down.

Her towel fell almost of its own volition, leaving her naked once again. This time Obi-Wan did not limit himself to only looking.

He raised both his hands and trailed them from her cheeks, to her neck and down to her rosy-tipped breasts in a long, languid caress, as if he was a sculptor modelling a piece of clay. Padmé blocked them when they reached her belly and she spoke for the first time, “I want to see you too, Obi-Wan.”

The corner of his mouth twitched upward at her request but he did not hesitate to fulfill it. Padmé watched as, with unconscious sensuality, he removed the belt of his bathrobe and let it fall off his shoulders.

Then, with tantalizing slowness, his hand reached for his shorts, which could not hide his straining erection, but she stopped him.

"Let me do it," she whispered and, at his nod, she moved behind his back and pressed against him, her hands embracing him and sliding down his chest, from his nipples to his abdomen, caressing and teasing, until they arrived at the waistband of his shorts.

Padmé hooked her thumbs in the elastic, and pulled down the fabric, past his well-shaped ass, then she let go of the shorts, watching them pool at his feet, before being promptly kicked away.

The action tore a smile from her: her meticulous husband did not seem to be very interested in the tidiness of the room just now!

Then Padmé sobered again, and her arms surrounded Obi-Wan from behind, taking his hardness in her hands, caressing him in the way she hoped would be pleasing.

She was gratified to discover it was, when he arched his back rolled back, moaning aloud with pleasure and beginning to rock his hips in time with her stroking.

Padmé continued for a while, liking the way Obi-Wan was letting her control this, before she gradually slowed her caresses and then stopped them completely, because she wanted so much more from him.

As he regained his breath, Padmé began to caress his back, from his neck to his shoulders, down to his muscular buttocks, enjoying his body at its fullness. He was a wonderful specimen of manhood, a mature male at the peak of his condition and Padmé felt almost intoxicated by his nearness and barely controlled power.

She continued to caress him, repeating the previous path of her hands with her lips and tongue, giving special attention to the ugly scars over his shoulders, the one left from the whipping he had received as a boy of ten. How much he must have hurt! Poor child! Padmé abruptly embraced Obi-Wan with such strength it made him grunt in surprise.

“What is it?” he asked in a whisper.

She hastened to reassure him, “Nothing.”

Padmé gave him a final kiss on his nape, then circled him, resuming the exploration of his flesh on his front. A quick glance at his hooded eyes told her he had almost reached the end of his endurance, but still she continued with her foreplay.

Neck, collarbones, nipples and belly received their share of attention from her hands and lips, but when she tried to lick his manhood, Obi-Wan groaned aloud and took her by the shoulders, raising her to her feet.

“That’s enough,” he said in a hoarse whisper, “I can wait no longer.”

Padmé smiled in agreement and he took control of their lovemaking by kissing her, deep and hard.

His tongue ravished her willing mouth and, without breaking their contact, he backed her to the bed, stumbling with her onto the mattress in a happy tangle of limbs, and resuming their fondling without missing a beat.

Obi-Wan’s kisses and caresses grew quickly in intensity and urgency, as he rhythmically ground his hardness against her hip.

The feel of his throbbing and hot maleness filled Padmé with an almost desperate longing, and she tugged at his shoulders, arching her back to press more firmly against him.

Obi-Wan knew the moment had arrived and slid into position, his hand trailing down her belly and between her thighs to test her readiness.

The slickness he found there, and the loud moan of pleasure that escaped her lips when he caressed her most sensitive places, confirmed to him she was indeed very ready to take him, and he lost no time entering her, with a long, sure stroke.

Padmé moaned aloud overwhelmed by her emotions, and dug her fingers deeply into his upper arms. Obi-Wan inside of her…after so many years of longing…he was finally home…filling an empty space inside her she had never known she had. The mere thought was enough to make her come, and Padmé convulsed around his flesh, her head thrown back against the pillow to bare her delicate throat.

When the waves of pleasure vanished, she became aware Obi-Wan had not yet started moving.

She opened her eyes and found him staring at her closely, his pupils so dilated his eyes looked almost black. He bent his head down, so much so that only a whisper of air separated their lips, and whispered, “I love you, Padmé. Then. Now. Always.”

The solemn declaration brought tears to her eyes and she tightened her arms around his shoulders, “I love you too, Obi-Wan. Then. Now. Always.”

He smiled sweetly at her and kissed the tip of her nose. Then lust took control of his body again and he started to move in her, as she arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist to take him deeper.

Harder and faster he thrust, his groans and moans mingling with hers, as they moved together in perfect accord, until she tipped over again with a scream, soon joined in her ecstasy by him.

When they had recovered, Obi-Wan and Padmé snuggled up, facing each other and exchanging little, tender, affectionate kisses, sharing their happiness in silence. No words were needed to express their feelings, they were too clear in their slowly closing eyes, and they had already pledged their vows to each other.

As sleep came to claim them, Padmé knew that after all their troubles and suffering they were finally together and they were going to be for the rest of their lives….

§

Padmé returned to the present and a happy smile graced her lips. She stretched, luxuriating as the feeling of well-being coursed along her body.

A movement at her side attracted her attention and she turned her head, meeting Obi-Wan’s eyes.

A lazy, contented smile spread on his handsome face as he pulled her closer. “Good morning, wife,” he murmured, kissing her gently.

“Good morning, husband,” she replied in kind. “How did you sleep?”

“Briefly,” he answered as his smile turned into a grin and his face looked much younger that his thirty-nine years.

Padmé blushed at his comment, and he laughed, before adding, “I slept wonderfully, my love, for I knew I was going to wake up with you at my side—today, and for the rest of my life.”

Padmè snuggled closer and planted a kiss on his chest. “Yes…this is so wonderful…” After all their troubles, their pain, their sorrow, they were finally together and nothing and nobody would ever tear them apart again.

“I love you,” she murmured, vowing to spend her entire life saying and showing it to Obi-Wan.

“As I love you,” Obi-Wan answered with equal intensity. He kissed the top of her head, as his long fingered hand slid up and down her bare back, in long caresses meant not to be arousing but affectionate.

Padmé relaxed completely under his touch, soon feeling sleepy again, a not surprising occurrence after the previous night.

She saw no reason to fight her slumber, and there was no better place where to rest than in Obi-Wan’s arms.

Then. Now. Always.

THE END


End file.
